yom kippur meditation

i forgive your indescretions and repeated
mistakes and i forgive
the hidden nature of your heart
i forgive you wallowing in the sadness
the fear of trusting, and finally your anger

now, will next year be different?

lonliness

its been awhile, been spending too much time on facebook and not enough time looking in...i used to journal all the time, but after starting a blog, i got used tomy inner demons being displayed for whom ever to see.

very sad this morning, and wanting it to be seen, but not by people who know me, and besides, im pretty sure no one comes here any more after my year of silence

many moons of loss as of late, loosing my dad, having drop foot and left side weakness, loosing my grandmother, changes at work, finding out my other grandmother has cancer, and having my best hang out buddy turn a date into a full time situation in the matter of a week (spending the whole time with me texting this guy, and stopping by just to let me know im being cancelled cause anytime we had set up is the only time he can see this guy)

im childish, i know, but im left feeling used and unimportant...but then again i find me unimportant, im uninterested in being with myself

depression is a bitch


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