Tuesday, November 01, 2005

perfectionism

will be an issue. i haven't known what to say these past few days, is it too much information, will people (my friends) think i am stupid or silly or frivolous, wasting space and time... on and on and on it goes.

i dread my humanity and envy every one else's ability to just live their lives and love eachother, and faith, how the hell am i supposed to learn how to have faith?

i want to be perfect at something, just one thing truly... only it never sticks to one thing right, and perfectionism is a myth. nothing is perfect, not even god.

the greek gods were so imperfect. the gritty reality of human nature divided into seperate, concrete, individuals that could be easily understood and taught. but my imperfection confuses me, and i get so anxious that someone's gonna be mad at me and i am gonna be in T-R-O-U-B-L-E (can we say super ego or complex or faulty thinking or whatever) for being wrong wrong wrong.

but i keep on keeping on.


song of the day: "season of the witch" by donovan.

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