Monday, March 31, 2008

understanding the brain

fascinating video on the function of the two hemispheres of the brain...a little londbut definitly worth the watch

it certainly helped me understand a number of the issues i was having when i was having active MS occurances on the left side of my body (meaning right hemispheric scarring)

video on the brain
Song of the day:

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Saturday, March 29, 2008


Song of the day:

thinking of myanmar

jeff hess has taken on burma...i remember when it first started, the current uprising and subsequent crackdown by the junta, it took him a minute to become interested, but once he did, he decided to keep moving forward, despite the lack of interest that has taken over most of the country...though the amount of posts he brings forward can be overwhelming, i think he is filling an important vacuum

from have coffee will write (quoting the globe and mail

It was Hannah Arendt who wrote the " Under consitions of tyranny, it is easier to at than to think" While none would accuse Burma's Saffron Revolution of being unthinking, the sense of these words hold true. There is a time when thoughts must give way to action.

Yet, just as this notion holds truth, so does its reverse. That is is to say, with out the conditions of tyranny,, it is easier to think that to act.

Song of the day:

Friday, March 28, 2008

my own tent

even though wolf creek has not lived up tp what i was looking for, i did decide i like camping anough to purchase my own tent....and was soo excited about it that i set it up in the living room

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

belief versus evidence-based

i work with a woman who believes the earth is only 5500 years old or so...she says to me the other day, "you can try and prove things with science, and then the other side will be proven by science too, it doesnt matter, its about belief and i do believe the earth is as old as the bible..."

i told her, "no, the other side is not proven by science, but i guess we do believe what we believe"...

i bring this up because of this article i read this morning

Sex Ed Can Help Prevent Teen Pregnancy : from yahoo
Mon Mar 24, 11:46 PM ET

MONDAY, March 24 (HealthDay News) -- Comprehensive sex education may help reduce teen pregnancies without increasing levels of sexual intercourse or sexually transmitted diseases.
So find U.S. researchers who reviewed data from a 2002 national survey of more than 1,700 heterosexual teens, ages 15 to 19.

There is ongoing debate about whether abstinence-only education or comprehensive sex education (including instruction in birth control) is best for students.

Study lead author Pamela Kohler, a program manager at the University of Washington in Seattle, and colleagues found that about 25 percent of teens received abstinence-only education and about two-thirds received comprehensive sex education. About 9 percent -- particularly teens from poor families and those in rural areas -- received no sex education at all.

The researchers found that teens who received comprehensive sex education were 60 percent less likely to get pregnant or to get someone pregnant than those who received no sex education.
read the rest here

but it doesnt matter how many empirical studies are my co-worker says, people will believe what they believe...though really, how many people would let a doctor perform a non-evidence based surgery on them?...although now that ive posed that question, im scared to know how many people would say "me!! i would!!"

Song of the day: lets talk about sex- salt and pepa

Monday, March 24, 2008

boundary crossing

sometimes, i just cant feel where the boundary is...

i am seeing places all over right now, where i am unsure what the next step to make is, places where i didnt realize there was a boundary to be crossed, so how was i suppoesed to know i was about to cross it all, let alone that i had just taken huge leaps into territory i was not welcome in

i dont think the crossing is the problem, just that these lessons seem to be very hard learned for me, and i dont see myself making any progress, and that scares me...

part of the issue, i think is that i do not take enough responsibility when it happens, that i very much take on this exact attitude of "how can you hold me responsible, i didnt even know?"

another part of the problem is that i take on too much of the responsibility, and tend to be too quick to assume that i did something wrong, when in truth i did not...

these 2 attitudes, one a total lack of insight, the other allowing self blame to over rule any learning that can happen, they both get in my way of growing...

Song of the day: borderline- madonna

what a good big brother

this is what i came home to, and ot think its not even been four full days since echo joined the family

song of the day- we are family- sister sledge


looking to move, view a third floor, one guy lives there, kind of a hippie guy aamd he is looking for a roomate. the ceiling is high, but meets in a triangle at the top, it is a lighter yellowish wood, and it is daytime out. there is a window on the eatstern side of the slanted ceiling, and it opens inward and down and the breeze is coming in, but it is also very warm due to the sunlight, and i think 'it is probably going to be too hot for me to live up here'

i know there was more, more people around, but i cant really find it in my mind, only the knowledge that there was definitly more

Song of the day: airbag- radiohead

Thursday, March 20, 2008


i havent named him yet, but he is around five months old (libra? scorpio?)
here are the names i have in mind for neitsche's baby brother....UPDATE 20:06, 3/21/08 i have named him echo.

2. apple
3. malcolm
5. ? any ideas?

Song of the day:

jeff hess to the rescue

left my keys in the ignition last night, and once again, hess saved the day by jumping, you know what i mean

Song of the day: hard to handle- the black crows

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

even nietzche craves spring...

Song of the day: purr- nietzche

Monday, March 17, 2008

chakra sound healing

my friend dan brought a heart chakra bowl this weekend, and i fell in love with it (as did darren, jarrod, kathy m.)...i have always been a sound person, very sensitive to music...i enjoy many things that other people have called sad or depressing, but i dont find it that way, like itzak perlman or nick drake...well ok, nick was depressing in life and lyric, but in sound, i felt balanced by these things, much as i did by this video

seven minute video, one minute of sound for each chakra....the blue one was real uncomfortable for me

Song of the day: power of one- teddy pendergrass


i hade a client at the hospital last week...she youched my heart much, and i did the best i could to find a place for her to go....and the facility i found for her, they sent me flowers

it may be a marketing like to believe they found the good in this woman despite her difficulties, muh as i did

...the note thanked me for all i do

Song of the day: silence

Saturday, March 15, 2008

gestalt exercise

a look at one issue from three different view points through guided imagery-

view from the inside:

little blue pills and three
gabapentin, waist clench
thigh clench, confusion
thirty years and counting
a gestalt interrupted and NO!!
no sense of propriety
no taste for boundary
fast, fast and faster-
heartbeat and footwork
breath work and find
a path away from shyness
through the clemmons pelvis-
thrusting and pushing and sigh

sleep? what is sleep?
little blue pills define
a wide-awwake unconcious grind
asking, asking of the outside
outside of self-a demanding
phone call ruinse everything

and i am unforgiable

view from the outside:

two women
energy crackles-manic-driven youth
energy sinks down- the loss of mother moon
dancing, dancing, eyes darting
to and fro, in and out- disconnected
once powerful star implodes,
peters out- the same
star is never born twice
no fault no blame no reason
just bad timing and change
and change-
its not always about what's wanted
but what is
is and one thing
follows the other
....when will i be ready to heal?

how ive managed to sit with the problem:

embrace me-
i will not change for You
never, never
never deny who i am-recently
found coyote spirit
rhino heart plowing through
ive become more real than You and i know it

i will not be a good girl,
not for you, not for you
i will not walk away from what i want
just to make things easy for You

i may cry- there is truth in me tears
i may churn-there is strength in discomfort
oh, and such a discomfort in not being seen-
i let the presence of it be the tether
i wont cut

i cant force You to see me
You cant force me to hide away
with Your cold regards
You are stuck with me
until You use Your words, tell me to go
....i was and am special,
whether You see me or no

Song of the day:

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

where hatred and religion lead....

Gay Iranian Teen Loses Asylum Bid
The Netherlands' highest court on Tuesday rejected a gay Iranian's last-ditch appeal to avoid deportation to Britain, where he fears authorities will send him back to Tehran and possible execution.

Mehdi Kazemi, 19, traveled to Britain to study in 2005 and applied there for asylum after learning that his male lover in Iran had been executed for sodomy. After British authorities rejected Kazemi's application, he fled and applied for asylum in the Netherlands.

Upholding a ruling by the Dutch government, the Council of State said Britain is responsible for Kazemi's case because he applied for asylum there first. European Union rules say the member state where an asylum seeker first enters the bloc is responsible for processing that person's claim.

read more here

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2008-03-11 19:28:42

Song of the day:

i never have dreams about flying, but...

things are busy right now, and it seems that the busier i am, the more i dream which is hard, as there is very little time to write about it (or to write about anything else for that matter...maybe its why i dream more, since writing is a great way for me to connect with the unconcious) but i felt that i needed to write this one out to fully take in whaht i have been given so....dreaming last night:

at the airport with my mother, we were going to be on one of the larger plane (which even in the dream i knew was weird since she is afraid of flying and hasnt flown since the '80s) and there was a big ruckus around us and someone came over the loud speaker announcing that they wanted to switch us onto an express jet (which i prefer to full size planes anyhow, so i was happy) because some famous person needed more room then the express jet could provide

so there i am with mom on the plane and we keep talking while waiting to take off, she had the window and i had the aisle in the two seat wide row and i was looking towards her, and we were both leaning forward when we took off and i said "mom look, you are flying and youre ok!"

then for some reason the plane made a little circle and landed and we were both confused because it meant we had to take off again, and mom was real nervous but we went through the same little interaction as we reentered the air and smoothed out at the best altitude

when i woke up, i was thinking about the brooke medicine eagle weekend i had back in october, thought about it for the whole ride to my coffeeshop (well, thought about it until i stopped at the gas stationa cross the street from the coffeee shop, where i became irate at the cost of gas instead of curious about the dream)...anyhow, we did this fun little game that weekend where we visioned for an animal (mine was the earth worm) and then broke up into groups of four where we eached posed a dillema for the other three in our group to 'talk' with their animals and provide a possible solution or piece of advice....i dont remember my question anymore, but jackie was in my group, and i think her animal was some insect she saw in the mane of one of her horses while riding- her animal's advice to me was "you keep trying to walk, but you need to fly" the moment, i didnt know what to do with that, and said so, but here i am, 5 months later contemplating once again, what can i do with that idea

then i got to my coffee, checked my email and had an announcement that jackie was doing a gestalt body process workshop with the horses next month, and i think i will request a spot now, it appears to line up to point in that direction....its already been an interesting morning, i have to say, and i wonder where else it will go

Song of the day: wild horses- rolling stones

Thursday, March 06, 2008

nature, connection and integration: what a gestalt!!

from yahoo:

"The way Anne is gazing so intently at Helen....Selsdon said the photograph is valuable because it shows many elements of Keller's childhood: that devotion, Sullivan's push to teach Helen outdoors and Helen's attachment to her baby dolls, one of which was given to her upon Sullivan's arrival as her teacher.

"It's a beautiful composition," she said. "It's not even the individual elements. It's the fact that it has all of the components."

On the Net:

New England Historic Genealogical Society:
Helen Keller:

nature-based psychotherapy

Song of the day: me and bobby mcgee- janis joplin

cat of a 1000 faces

Song of the day: stray cat strut- stray cats

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

double stubbed at the voting booth

so i voted this morning, and what a troubling experience it was.

first off, because of the chads, we couldnt poke the ballot, and because of possible hacking stuff, we cant do touch screens- and so we stood, filling in the circles like grade schoolers doing their iowa tests, voting for the best candidate

i then take my ballot to the box, and the worker-a very nice guy named phillip- tells me to rip of the stub, but the stub says "do not rip off". i point this out to phillip, who shows me his instruction book, and sure enough, it says to remove the stub....

afterword, i was very concerned my vote would not count, so i called the cuyahoga board of elections....turns out there were TWO stube, the first to be removed (which phillip did) and the second to remain (the one he had me remove).....the board worker said my vote would still count, stub or not

why cant they come up with a system that wont confuse the fuck out of people?! can it really be that far fetched to come up with something reasonable and safe?

Song of the day: volunteers- jeff moyer

Monday, March 03, 2008

let me go easy- indigo girls

come pleasure me again,im so tired of digging in
ive done my share i dont need to win, let me go easy
for two years my body fights, at this point it dont seem right
just to do it out of spite and keep hanging on
oh, let me go easy, wont you let me go easy, let me go right now

i see the numbers dwindling of my enemies and my friends
and still i know it never ends so im passing you this torch
fight the greed and the federals, fight the need and the toxic spills
drink from that wishing well, but may it never quench your thirst

let me go easy, let me go easy
wont you let me go easy, let me go right now

so when you get to loudenville for the tears and the fare-the-wells
for a moment stand real still and youll feel me moving on
you go ahead with your plans you wont be seeing me again
but youll feel me in the hand, the hand that holds the plow

let me go easy, let me go easy
wont you let me go easy, let me go right now

Song of the day: let me go easy- indigo girls

thank you, me, for trying to imagine what the group energy might say in order to provide comfort in this place of changing, as our time together winds down, and we acknowledge that never agian will we form quite as we are

on holy ground-barbra streisand

how this video came to be on this blog is an interesting story, as i could onjly find one version on you tube, and it was i wrote the person who maade the video and told her i wanted to repost it, and i like to get what i want and so she removed the privacy jsut for me.....kindness is a good thing

Song of the day: on holy ground-barbra streisand

thank you, connie, for this song of spirituality and faith...even if i dont believe in god, i think that its an important acknowledgement that something greater than i happens at gestalt
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