Monday, March 24, 2008

boundary crossing

sometimes, i just cant feel where the boundary is...

i am seeing places all over right now, where i am unsure what the next step to make is, places where i didnt realize there was a boundary to be crossed, so how was i suppoesed to know i was about to cross it all, let alone that i had just taken huge leaps into territory i was not welcome in

i dont think the crossing is the problem, just that these lessons seem to be very hard learned for me, and i dont see myself making any progress, and that scares me...

part of the issue, i think is that i do not take enough responsibility when it happens, that i very much take on this exact attitude of "how can you hold me responsible, i didnt even know?"

another part of the problem is that i take on too much of the responsibility, and tend to be too quick to assume that i did something wrong, when in truth i did not...

these 2 attitudes, one a total lack of insight, the other allowing self blame to over rule any learning that can happen, they both get in my way of growing...

Song of the day: borderline- madonna


Jeff Hess said...

Shalom Molly,

Every moment in life exists as a boundary; either with ourselves or with others.

Most of the time we can push at boundaries with impunity, but occasionally we do get pushed back. I think this happens most often when our push is perceived as a surprise. How we chose to accept that response is important.

Nietzsche was surprised by Echo and there were definite boundary issues; but as you've noted, they worked them out once the surprise had worn off.



molly said...

smile, actually, neitzche is still having some issues when im around...i cant touch the kitten without him starting to growl and hiss...

guess he takes after his mum with his jealousy

thanks for the comment

HitThaFloor said...

And those lines will always be crossed. There's no line in the sand to know where you should go or when you've stepped over - and you don't have an "referee" telling you when you've crossed the line.

Almost 2 years later and Little One and G are still having boundary issues - it'll just never end - but it will be worked through and manipulated as necessary.

Life is clay - moldable.

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