Saturday, March 15, 2008

gestalt exercise

a look at one issue from three different view points through guided imagery-

view from the inside:

little blue pills and three
gabapentin, waist clench
thigh clench, confusion
thirty years and counting
a gestalt interrupted and NO!!
no sense of propriety
no taste for boundary
fast, fast and faster-
heartbeat and footwork
breath work and find
a path away from shyness
through the clemmons pelvis-
thrusting and pushing and sigh

sleep? what is sleep?
little blue pills define
a wide-awwake unconcious grind
asking, asking of the outside
outside of self-a demanding
phone call ruinse everything

and i am unforgiable

view from the outside:

two women
energy crackles-manic-driven youth
energy sinks down- the loss of mother moon
dancing, dancing, eyes darting
to and fro, in and out- disconnected
once powerful star implodes,
peters out- the same
star is never born twice
no fault no blame no reason
just bad timing and change
and change-
its not always about what's wanted
but what is
is and one thing
follows the other
....when will i be ready to heal?

how ive managed to sit with the problem:

embrace me-
i will not change for You
never, never
never deny who i am-recently
found coyote spirit
rhino heart plowing through
ive become more real than You and i know it

i will not be a good girl,
not for you, not for you
i will not walk away from what i want
just to make things easy for You

i may cry- there is truth in me tears
i may churn-there is strength in discomfort
oh, and such a discomfort in not being seen-
i let the presence of it be the tether
i wont cut

i cant force You to see me
You cant force me to hide away
with Your cold regards
You are stuck with me
until You use Your words, tell me to go
....i was and am special,
whether You see me or no

Song of the day:

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