intentional

very rarely do i think in terms of intention. i know that my intentions are usually the best of intentions, and at work, i am very intentional in my design and intervention, but mostly, i trip through my life with very few plans (less to be disappointed by i guess), and i would even say i have been known to scurry away from intention with fervor (lest i get trapped or tricked into something)...

in this day and age, intention is rare i think. i never had a father waiting to meet my dates (thank you for this image jeff), ready to say "and what are your intentions toward my daughter, young man/lady (that would be a pretty progressive dad, huh?). the closest to intentional relating i've ever gotten is having a condom in my wallet. and intention in friendship, NO WAY! it was always just an instant, non spoken, intense thing (though they tend to fizzle out) or to play it cool, you know, and see where it heads, and then maybe after a year of casual encounter, you begin to talk in terms of longer term friendship, and what you owe each other as you become more familiar ( as my friend tonya and i have done) and certainly, since i am dealing with chronic illness, at some point i become interested in what the limits and bouindaries are-can i depend on a person to still interact with me in times of illness and challenge (make that added effort, coming to me (literally meant) instead of meeting halfway kind of thing), which is a type of intention i guess.

i dont know if it is a generational issue, or just an individual thing, looking for a person's intention toward something, but it is an interesting feeling to have someone ask about your intentions towards them (though the word was never used, i could feel it), as someone did to me last week. at first i was confused, then i thought i had to be misunderstanding, then i remembered that somewhere, sometime, i was introduced to the idea of building intentional relationships. (and yes i know it was you, i just dont remember where and in what context)

i don't think i understood what that meant when i first heard of it, but my sense is getting stronger. maybe having intention creates an honest interaction. maybe it's based on insecurities, but i think it is something i will consider for awhile, and see how it could play out in my life.

....and what are your intentions?