just another day

yesterday was my birthday....it was hard not to think about the fact that andy probably had a birthday card sittingin a drawer ready to give to me....
his wife, roseanna, jeff jaros and i stopped by briefly wednesday night to see her....her brother called while we were there

she doesnt like her brother, but she decided to give him all the gory details of the day...later, as jeff and i talked, we decided that it was easier for her to share with us what happened by telling her brother while we listened...she didnt have to look at us by doing it that way....i know that i will never forget the picture she described, but i will also not pass on the image to anyone else

the phone rang yesterday, and it was roseanna....she had a terrible cold, which explains why nothing is happening- no obituary in the paper, no plans for the memorial.....she called and said "hi molly, thanks for checking in on me.....i looked at the calendar and i see its your birthday and i would come out and play with you if i wasnt so sick"


Song of the day: silence

poem and the response that reminds me why i write

when i was real sick, jackie sent me some wolf creek readings, and through those readings, i wrote some pretty inspired poetry, but sometimes, i feel that my writing, since i make no money at it, is a waste of time, is disrespected by others, is not meeting the expectations that the world has for me...but then someone reminds me why i use this gift of storytelling, in what ever form....

my call

centered

growing up, girl,
with passion, passion for the swing
set early on-yelling "louder!
louder!" little sandled feet
pumping as father
pushed harder, harder- correcting
girl, he said "higher,
you mean to say,
higher, you want to go higher!"

but girl knew better, cause she could hear-
she heard Wind chilly and clear in her ear,
drumming "make me louder! make me louder!"

the response

Molly, I had a swing in my back yard when I was little, and if I pumped just hard enough to go high enough, I could get my whole face right up in the
lilac tree and be surrounded by the blossoms, with their softness and
incredible smell. I was told my whole life to shh, not so loud. And yes, I
did want to go higher, but I also had, and I mean HAD, to be louder. Just
to be me, just to be normal, just to be true to my self. And I am learning
with.....you about the OKness of being just as loud and high and fully my self as I want to be. Wow. I am so lucky.

....while knowing where the chain of influence is not necessary in life, i do like to see the circle of things sometimes...how by interacting with her sun, jackie became a sun for others (well, for me at least) and then i became a sun for this responder who can now be a sun for someone else...my heart feels full right now

Song of the day: circle with in a circle- brooke medicine eagle

andy and chi; a celebration

first opportunity to see andy since he got home from hpspital and chi is moving to chicago today....p.s., larry, i put these up for you

me chi and andy (can you believe how much weight he lost?)
andy, debbie and chi

mikes new boyfriend, mike and dierdra

jeff and chi

al

and then roseanna made me stop with the camera...she does hate when i catch her on film (or more correctly on digital chip)...she went kind of crazy with sherryr and grain alcohol last night...but we will let that story brew for awhile