yortzeit

i lit yortziet for andy this morning......16 hours late, but....

he was a childless father, and i was one of the many fatherless children (albeit the favorite...though i guess he could have said that to everyone-not) who was blessed to have him love me, teach me about unconditional love, and i am so greatful that we were always honest with eachother- he died knowing that i waclear on his feelings for me, and i am positive that he knew how much i loved him....

travel well, andy

Mourners kaddish

English translation Transliteration Aramaic / Hebrew
1 Exalted and sanctifiedb is God's great name.a Yitgaddal v'yitqaddash sh'meh rabba יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא.
2 in the world which He has created according to His will B'ʻal'ma di v'raʼ khiruteh בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ
3 and may He establish His kingdom v'yamlikh malkhuteh וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ
4 may his salvation blossom and his anointed near.ad [v'yatzmach purqaneh viqarev (Ketz) m'shicheh] וְיַצְמַח פֻּרְקָנֵהּ וִיקָרֵב(קיץ) מְשִׁיחֵהּ
5 in your lifetime and your days b'chayekhon uvyomekhon בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן וּבְיוֹמֵיכוֹן
6 and in the lifetimes of all the House of Israel uvchaye d'khol bet yisraʼel וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל
7 speedily and soon; and say, Amen.a b'ʻagala uvizman qariv v'ʼimru amen בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן
The next two lines are recited by the congregation and then the leader:
8 May His great name be blessed y'he sh'meh rabba m'varakh יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ
9 forever and to all eternity. l'ʻalam ulʻal'me ʻal'maya לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא
10 Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, Yitbarakh v'yishtabbach v'yitpaʼar v'yitromam יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרוֹמַם
11 extolled and honored, elevated and lauded v'yitnasse v'yithaddar v'yitʻalle v'yithallal וְיִתְנַשֵּׂא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל
12 be the Name of the Holy One, blessed be He.a sh'meh d'qudsha, b'rikh hu. שְׁמֵהּ דְקֻדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא.
13 beyond (and beyondc) all the blessings l'ʻella (ulʻella mikkol) min kol birkhata לְעֵלָּא (וּלְעֵלָּא מִכָּל) מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא
14 and hymns, praises and consolations v'shirata tushb'chata v'nechemata וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא
15 that are spoken in the world; and say, Amen.a daʼamiran b'al'ma v'ʼimru amen דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן
The half kaddish ends here.
Here the "complete kaddish" includes:
16 eLet them be accepted: the prayers and supplications Titqabbal tz'lot'hon uvaʻut'hon תִּתְקַבל צְלוֹתְהוֹן וּבָעוּתְהוֹן
17 of the entire House of Israel d'khol bet yisraʼel דְּכָל בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל
18 before their Father in Heaven; and say, Amen.a qodam avuhon di bishmayya, v'ʼimru amen קֳדָם אֲבוּהוֹן דִּי בִשְׁמַיָּא וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן
Here the "kaddish of the rabbis" includes:
19 Upon Israel and its rabbis and their students ʻal yisraʼel v'ʻal rabbanan v'ʻal talmidehon עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל רַבָּנָן וְעַל תַּלְמִידֵיהוֹן
20 and upon all their student's students v'ʻal kol talmidey talmidehon וְעַל כָּל תַּלְמִידֵי תַלְמִידֵיהוֹן.
21 and upon all those who engage in the Torah v'ʻal kol maʼan d'ʻos'kin b'ʼorayta וְעַל כָּל מָאן דְּעָסְקִין בְּאוֹרַיְתָא.
22 here and in all other places di b'ʼatra haden v'di b'khol atar v'ʼatar דִּי בְאַתְרָא הָדֵין וְדִי בְּכָל אֲתַר וַאֲתַר.
23 may they and you have much peace y'he l'hon ulkhon sh'lama rabba יְהֵא לְהוֹן וּלְכוֹן שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא
24 grace and kindness and mercy and long life chinna v'chisda v'rachamey v'chayyey arikhey חִנָּא וְחִסְדָּא וְרַחֲמֵי וְחַיֵּי אֲרִיכֵי
25 and plentiful nourishment and salvation umzoney r'vichey ufurqana וּמְזוֹנֵי רְוִיחֵי וּפוְּרְקָנָא
26 from before their Father in Heaven [and Earth]; min qodam avuhon di vishmayya [v'ʼarʻa]e מִן קֳדָם אֲבוּהוּן דְבִשְׁמַיָּא [וְאַרְעָא]
27 and say, Amen.a v'ʼimru amen וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן
All variants but the half kaddish conclude:
28 fMay there be much peace from Heaven, Y'he sh'lama rabba min sh'mayya יְהֵא שְׁלָמָה רבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא,
29 [and] [good] life [v']chayyim [tovim] [וְ]חַיִּים [טוֹבִים]
30 and satiety, and salvation, and comfort, and saving v'sava vishuʻa v'nechama v'shezava וְשָֹבָע וִישׁוּעָה וְנֶחָמָה וְשֵׁיזָבָה
31 and healing and redemption and forgiveness and atonement urfuʼa ugʼulla uslicha v'khappara וּרְפוּאָה וּגְאֻלָּה וּסְלִיחָה וְכַפָּרָה,
32 and relief and deliveranced v'revach v'hatzzala וְרֵוַח וְהַצָּלָה
33 for us and for all His people Israel; and say, Amen.a lanu ulkhol ʻammo yisraʼel v'ʼimru amen לָנוּ וּלְכָל עַמּוֹ יִשְֹרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן.
34 fHe who makes peace in His heights ʻose shalom bimromav עוֹשֶֹה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו,
35 may He [in his mercy]g make peace upon us hu [b'rachamav] yaʻase shalom ʻalenu הוּא [בְּרַחֲמָיו] יַעֲשֶֹה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ,
36 and upon all [his nation]h Israel; and say, Amen.a v'ʻal kol [ammo] yisraʼel, v'ʼimru amen וְעַל כָּל [עַמּוֹ] יִשְֹרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן.

Song of the day:

life

andrew goodwin 8/15/48-10/24/07
thank you....always and forever
Song of the day: Serenade for strings in G major (eine kliene nachtmusak)-motzart

yet another feather message

so in the hurry of the week, i did not get around to talking about anything at all....i actually worked yesterday, EGAD!! (no really, i picked up some week days over the next couple months so i will be a little more employed again)and ive been thinking about robin (ill call you tonight to see how youre doing), so the fact that i just camped and that i camp again this friday has been kind of side margained

one thing that came up at the brooke medicine eagle weekend: animal allies and visions

my animal ally was the earth worm, and we were broken up into small groups (the professor was in my group) and we each asked a question of everyone elses animal allies...i asked how can i have intention without destroying everything on the way (as seems to be the way it is working right now)and the professors ally (the praying mantis-what an odd interesting animal)and the praying mantis said i had been trying to walk but needed to fly. now, i was still struggling with this piece of advice- couldnt put meaning to it even though it made sense (i am a toe dipper, not a dive-right-inner), but then an intersting occurance came about...

my god father is healthy enough to do my weekly injections again, and while we were bonding after it yesterday, i disseminated the weekend for him, but walking home, i thought on how i didnt mention the professors advice, about flying, and i looked down just in time to see a feather, whole and large, on the urban sidewalk.

then walking to dinner, i was thinking about how strange that i should come across a feather while i was thinking about being told to fly when i came across yet another feather...but i accidentally left that one at the restaurant...

Song of the day: learning to fly- tom petty

"Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I started out for God knows where
But I guess Ill know when I get there...

Im learning to fly"

andy and chi; a celebration

first opportunity to see andy since he got home from hpspital and chi is moving to chicago today....p.s., larry, i put these up for you

me chi and andy (can you believe how much weight he lost?)
andy, debbie and chi

mikes new boyfriend, mike and dierdra

jeff and chi

al

and then roseanna made me stop with the camera...she does hate when i catch her on film (or more correctly on digital chip)...she went kind of crazy with sherryr and grain alcohol last night...but we will let that story brew for awhile

andy update

roseanna called, he's a little healthier, and has been exhubated and all his tests look good...i think he will be out of icu by monday, and then i will see him.....and i will decorate his room or something

Song of the day: witch doctor- the chipmunks

necrotizing fasciitis

my god-father (for lack of a better term, since he is of no blood relation to me, but the most important father figure in my life), my god-father, andy, he has necrotizing fasciitis.

the simpler term for this condition is flesh-eating bacteria, and andy was at risk due to his diabetes, chronic steroid use and a recent bedsore that just did not want to heal.

he will be in the hospital for atleast a month....it is bringing up an awful lot for me, around health and illness and death

andy has been giving me my weekly avonex injections (all drugs to help slow the progresion of multiple sclerosis are injectables at this point)for close to ten years now, and i will be taking over that role until he is well again (i WILL NOT think about the 30% mortality rate that comes with necrotizing fasciitis, or about his poor health in general)...

i hate the wird "pray", i feel like it is too attached to religion and cannot do a good job of representing me and how i feel, but i recently read that praying is equal to helping, and in that case, i will pray for andy's recovery and do my best to support his wife through this

Song of the day: shed your skin- indigo girls