Sunday, February 12, 2006

more about my muse

not that i have called her muse before this, first she was that majickal professor, then jackie, but now i realize that a creative spark has been lit up again. i don't even know that i was entirely aware it was gone

this spark died out somewhere along the line. it used to gush and gurgle, poetry and music mixes, plans and parties, connection and seperation, but it's been gone for moons, maybe a few dozen moons even, and now it is nagging me to let it out. but perfectionism is in the way, and a doubtful respect shushes me.

we had to keep a journal in that class. an outlet for me, nourishment, and i suckled and nipped at it. i changed. i began this blog. but the journal ended, and i can't seem to figure out where to get fulfillment now. my muse, her energies supported me.

today, the sun was awake before i was, a first for this side of the solstace. even though the noreaster hit, and there was some lake effect after a winter above freezing, i finally could smell the spring coming and all i can think of is a continuing ed. class i have next month, to fulfill my ethics need and to find the muse. i had hoped she would have time for me before i was once again apart from an adoring crowd, but that is not to be.

i had fear i would lose what was found under her weekly attention. the class was eight, but i got more then an eighth of her mind, her time, and i flourished, creating the perfect blush on this golden apple cheek. it was fine.

i miss her.

Song of the day:falling- alison moyet

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