Thursday, April 12, 2007

i dont get to set the time frame


one thing about having MS, i dont get to choose how long i am sick for, and i have limitations in health, let alone in illness, and i just feel like i cant be good enough...it will be a full month since this period started on saturday, and i feel bankrupt! the depression is setting in

i cant find the prescription for neurotin that my doctor wrote, and i didnt have the energy to take care of it last week, so i borrowed some neurotin from a friend, and on tuesday called the mellen center, leaving the number of a pharmacy....today i went to pick it up but it had never been called in, so i called the mellen center again, and the nurse had told the secretary that she had given me the prescription, but no one had informed me of the nurses refusal to call it in....so here i am, owing my friend neurontin, and still needing it myself, and so i called back and asked again, and we will see if she actually does it....i am the patient, i am the sick one, and they are supposed to help me, not make life harder (atleast it feels like an unnecessary road block)

my therapist just left town for almost three weeks, so there goes one of my biggest support through an episode and my next gestalt weekend starts TODAY -i am woefully unprepared(a...nd let me add that she has been gone every single gestalt weekend so far for two weeks after or more- talk about unlucky- )oh, and the woman who i process my gestalt weekends with when my therapist is out of town just lost a family pet and i hear an introjection of "SHHHH!" ...my coffee buddy had to change his routine due to financial issues so im on my own in the mornings...my email has all but stagnated, nothing incoming, morning after morning of tarot.com and pfaw announcements and noone just randomly saying "good morning molly, try to have a great day" now that i dont have the energy to do that for others...i do have one friend who has remained consistant in keeping in touch through this though, and my godfather ofcourse...(wow, is my depression obvious!)

Song of the day: silence again

2 comments:

Sorriah42 said...

You might be single - but haven't you noticed that we have adopted you. You have a family - someplace you can go (and invite yourself over) almost whenever you want. (you know, just like any family, we aren't always home, but you can always call and try)

Sorriah42 said...

PS - Just like you're a bad caller, I'm a bad first emailer. Plus, work and my toe have kept me WAY too busy lately. Oh, and my mouse or a virus is causing me severe irritation. Argh! Can I throw the computer out the window?

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