embracing who you are

one thing about spring, it causes me to be active again. i spent monday outside in the warm rain, not minding the dampness at all

so then comes tuesday, too cold for me to play outside (it's just my personal preference)but entirely antsy so i went to bally's and walked on the tread mill.

i don't tend to think about my appearance at the gym, and i went in my street clothes, walking the machine in my overalls, no make-up, just comfortable.

in the row in front of me, i noticed a woman i had gone to school with when ever i was living in cleveland (we moved around alot), from grade school up. it's hard to believe it is the same person.

i still felt somewhat jealous of her tiny figure (but i can't shrink myself down seven inches, and i will never be what you could call fragile) but i felt this profound pitty for her.

her hair had been straightened, which even i have done, but curls wash in or grow out. it was her face. she had more then one surgery. her jewish nose replaced with a snub, her chin built up...she had not been an unattractive girl either, just very jewish looking.

there is so much pressure to be perfect. we talk about the self-esteem of girls while at the same time providing plastic role models. i mean, even lindsay lohan got to thin.