Saturday, February 10, 2007

face twitches and w.c.


my face is twitching. it started last night and i kept hoping that it was just my imagination. then i looked in the mirror this morning and sure enough, my face was twitching (or spasming or ticking, which ever youd prefer)-the left cheek keeps pulling up as if to sneer at the entire world, and then upon discovering it was about to take on such an unlady-like expression, cheek changes its mind and relaxes...

i found out on thursday that the last weekend of wolf creek is the same weekend as my last gestalt weekend (guess it is more of a journey jeff). it hadnt even occured to me that it might happen that way, so i didnt bother to check, and then suddenly i decided in favor of the program and finally did. i had to write the facilitator about the conflict and tell her i was disappointed and dizzy. it was just the very the beginning of my mourning. i am not very good at surprises, and this news had certainly hit my body with the force of a surprise and i was unable to hold in my immediate reaction...thats all. with in half an hour, i knew that i had erred in making an assumption, and because of it i had lost something i really wanted- a very strong lesson, thats for sure. a few hours later, i was checking my email for a note from the university of akron on when my phone interview for one of their doctoral programs would be, and the facilitator had written back that she would look into changing the last weekend of w.c...

i was floored. it hadnt occured to me that anything could be changed around- i think my intent in stating my disappointment was part surprise and part wanting to be seen.i dont think i have ever felt so worthwhile (strange word here, i know, but its the only one that keeps coming to mind). unfortunately i really am uncomfortable with uncertainty, and where things sit right now, i cant begin to mourn this as a loss, nor rejoice in the decision ive made. instead i sit here wishing and hoping- and twitching

Song of the day: when you wish upon a star- jiminy cricket

3 comments:

Sorriah42 said...

I had change too. I have such difficulty with it. Give me a moment, time to digest, and I can deal with whatever change needs to be dealt with, but force me to deal with it right then and there and the sight is not a pretty one.

BTW - What's happening with the Akron interview?

Sorriah42 said...

PS - I left you a comment to your comment to me on my blog.

molly said...

i was told my request for an interview after 3:00 pm on the 23 of this month would be submitted, so ill find out soon im sure

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