Tuesday, February 06, 2007

gestalted: beyond the theory

it gets harder and harder to discuss these weekends, but my silence needed to end, and i am still experiencing the weekend in my head, so i have to start there

i grew and grew...its interesting when we realize how far away from the core of who we are we have gotten, by suddenly reembracing the core...hmmm, very unclear and unowned

this weekend in the facilitator seat in practicum, i took on a whole new attitude. the first weekend, i was unprepared for how deep some people would go in the client seat and became over whelmed. the last weekend, i had to fight my faculty as she tried to help me hone my technique, but this weekend i took on a "there is only learning" attitude, and just went with it, and something higher then me took over....i was told i have raw talent for this work, and i could see that my "client" was blossoming in those moments too.

i was advised, however, to be careful not to do "the bulk of the feeling for the system", and i remembered my younger Self, how overwhelmed she would become, running around and away from others feelings, especially the hidden non-verbalized ones, how many relationships i destrroyed because the other would not admit their feelings and i would neurotically freak out, knowing they were there but constantly being told i was wrong...i kind of like her adult version though, as i let go of needing to caretake for everyone and instead find curiosity for what i feel and notice

Song of the day: changes- david bowie


Jeff Hess said...

Shalom Molly,

Interesting use of the upper-case.



molly said...

yeah... i see Self as the core of every person, and i am currently experimenting with seeing my Self, especially from when younger in different ways, capitolizing her, increasing her importance in the person ive become...thanks for noticing

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