Wednesday, November 01, 2006

misunderstanding emotion


its interesting the challenges facing us and the way in which we address them. i left a bag of stuff at jackies on saturday. i asked if i could come on tuesday to get it, and jackie mailed
Tuesday is fine. if I am not home or with a client I could leave the stuff for you in a bag in the mail box located in the driveway of the guest house. i know I will be home for sure till 9:30 am doing horse chores.Let me know by morning e-mail or telephone, Jackie

if i had stayed on my comfortable side, i would have said great, and aimed to get there while she was busy. but i felt like she was offering a brief moment of time, it felt risky-a friendly challenge-so i wrote back i could be there early....

anyhow, at ten after nine, i pull in her drive, greet the dogs, and walk toward the stables, seeing no one, when i hear the house door open, and turn around to see her husband, who has no idea what I am doing there, and he tells me shes at the store, left about ten minutes earlier, and asks if i know where the stuff is.i said no, and he says she should be back by ten, and i say ‘so i can just wait here then? it’s a long ride out’ and he looks at me funny, but whatever. five minutes later, i remember about the mailbox, walk down the drive, but nothing in there and its starting to drizzle, so i sit in my car and study for gre. at about 20 to ten, i see her jeep pull in the drive so i work on one more math problem until she pulls up next to me.

the morning up to this point was no big deal, a little discomfort with her husband, a little boredom, a little queazy, a little frustrated with math, a little disappointed in feeling forgotten. and yet, right before i leave with my bag stuffed with books and a rag doll that looks just like me, i am feeling sicker, and i think "i feel sorry, i feel like ive misunderstood", so i apologized to her (since it was the truth of my moment) and she says, why are you apologizing? i am the one who should be sorry, not you....by the time i get home almost a half hour later, i realize the naseua was not about regret, i have an inner ear infection again....the moral of this story is just because i think a situation is one thing-whether an invite or an upset stomache-it so very easily could be another.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's the problem with communication on any level. There are always interpretations to be had and that can sometimes get in the way. (R)

Pesha said...

Being so aware of your body and what your body is trying to tell you has it's down side. Like this morning. When you are that aware it is sometimes easier to attribute it to emotions than to know that you are really ill.

I'm sorry about your ear infection.

molly said...

yes, communication can be difficult in interpretations, so i try to ask instead of interpret....not that its always possible or easy, nor can you always expect the answer to be forthcoming...

molly said...

yes, it is difficult to tell emotional from physiacal occurances....as i remember when i had pre-emphyzema (i quit smoking over four years ago though so no worries)yard and thought it was anxiety

Locations of visitors to this page
adopt your own virtual pet!