for you, rumblefish, in admitting the problem

so hard on yourself, rumblefish, i want to share this with you. a friend gave this to me many years ago, she told me her ex-girlfriend wrote it (i think realy its a famous piece that the ex WANTED to have written).... i wish i could give you my original copy, as i hold it here, tattered and yellow, as i have been at your crossroad, just as my friend shelley had been before me... (ive had it over thirteen years now). you are learning michael, changing, and i appreciate your sharing it with us

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
I
i walk,down the street,
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
i fall in
i am lost...i am helpless
it is not my responsibility.
it takes forever (it seems) to find a way out

II
i walk down the same street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk
i pretend i dont see it.
i fall in again.
i cant believe i am in the same place.
but it isnt my responsibility.
it still takes a long time to get out.

III
i walk down the same street
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
i see it is there.
i still fall in....its a habit
my eyes are open.
i know where i am.
it is my responsibility.
i get out immediatly.

IV
i walk down the same street
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk,
i walk around it

V
i walk down another street.

only you know where you truly are, rumblefish, but that area in the middle, chapters 2-4, there is alot of moving around them, back and forth, in a non-linear fashion, and sometimes, even after you have found a new route, you will find yourself walking the old path, sometimes managing to stop and turn around, sometimes not.....its the awareness that matters, not avoiding the mistakes.