Saturday, January 13, 2007

homophobia in the workplace

(i truly cannot think of a better example of love then xena and gabrielle)

i have a couple hours til i go out, and have been itching to write alot, so here i go....i missed a party for work last night. one of the occupational therapists had invited me to meet her for drinks before hand, being the thoughtless one i can be, instead of meeting up with her at work and following her, i agreed to meet her at this bar. i had no idea where it was and got lost in this unknown western suburb where the streets arent as nice and orderly as they are on the east side. after two hours of zen driving, i finally came across a freeway entrance and hurried back towards my neighborhood, where i called a friend and met him for dinner someplace i knew well...

the report today was good, as were the left-overs, and i enjoyed hearing most of the stories, until discussion's of bea (as i will call her for this purpose). i asked if bea was there. bea is a supervisor, and she's gay. she has been with her wife "dee" for about a decade, and it is a strong stable relationship.

well, i asked if she was there and one of the nurses said "oh, yes, she was there with..." and her voice trailed off
"with her wife? with dee?" i asked her
"with her friend"
"with her wife" i repeated and one of the aides said;
"glad i wasnt there" with this grimace on her face
"why" i asked
"i dont like bea, and i certainly dont like..."and now it was her voice trailing off and another nurse pipes in
"yeah, i dont like working with them either"
"with them, who?" i asked, as dee does not work with us.
"you know" says nurse 2 "gays. i was surrounded by them at *****, worked with a bunch of, you know, one of the nurses was a lesbian, and the social worker was a lesbian and they got to be best friends and thats all they ever talked about. they were all political and always saying they deserved equal rights, being all for the dont ask dont tell thing."...and the grimace about the lesbian party continued for awhile, with me asking directive and challenging questions

people know i like women at work. its no big secret....i also like men though and am very non-commital, so i guess they focus on that....i didnt try and fight them in this converation, just kept asking questions to try and understand better, to shed light on what they were saying....but now feel bad about myself for not bitching them out

(1/14/07- by bad, i realize i meant that i felt disappointed, as my integrity and self respect are very important to me, and i didnt say "you are also talking about me, not just bea right now)

Song of the day: it's all right- indigo girls

"and its alright if you hate that way,
if you hate me cause im different,
if you hate me cause im gay, the truth of the matter?
itll come around one day, and its alright"


Sorriah42 said...

I'm speechless. I'm proud of you for not fighting, especially as you are out, but what idiots. I mean, everyone is entitled to their personal opinions, but sometimes they should just be kept that way. Those women sound like they need some educations. I truly feel sorry for them.

Pesha said...

I agree and I'm proud of you too. Sometimes it is the right thing to step back and listen, to know what you are up against, to understand the ignorance of others rather than running into it head on. I think it is a sign of strength to not have to bitch them out.

As you know, I hate people!

Jeff Hess said...

Shalom Molly,

It's hard to be confrontational. Would you have been willing to step back and ask questions if the "them" had been Jews, or, for that matter, any other minority group?



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