snakes and things

strange dreams about snakes last night, hanging all over the shaker lakes like it was a rain forrest, so i pulled my car over to take pictures and there was sadie's x-boyfriend luis, who i chatted with for a moment, and then noticed he had a little baby snake on his shoulder, which he proceeded to knock to the ground, then i woke up...

i have not talked about sadie at all, been working more, volunteering for the upcoming elections, getting involved with the janes, (plus its been my birthday week, and i guess i wanted her to give some attention to me, but it just doesnt work that way), but she is there in my mind. nothing has changed, not really, well except the oldest is gone to arizona with sadie's mom...

i tried to talk to both parents about what sort of care would be provided for the kids. their dad said no therapy- they are just little kids, what do they know about sexual abuse? (im thinking, well, they know what it is like to go through it for starters), and as for sadie, she cant really focus on anything still, she asked me to make travel plans to come see her in march because her favorite musician now does private parties and that is what she plans on doing for her 30th, hiring the woman to play at her home for an evening (my birthday was much better then that, i think, smile)- but if i try to talk about the kids and how they are doing, she immediatly breaks our connection. so i told her i just couldnt listen to her talk about her birthday at this juncture, that i have some pretty serious feelings about what happened and that i felt like she was being glib about it all and she says "its the only thing that is keeping me from killing myself, thinking about this party".

so, thanks jeff, for pointing out that i have been totally silent on this issue and that there are some people (including hiself) that may like an update.

Song of the day: baby, please dont go- them