Tuesday, September 26, 2006

the count down: 30 days to 30


reflection
oh boy... thirty.... dirty thirty as they say in "world according to garp". my friend tonya has taken responsibility for planning something, maybe even camping (though i told her we needed to have a dinner for those with itty-bitty family members as i KNOW they wont want to be away for so long quite yet), since london is a no-go (theres money issues having to do with health insurance that are not resolvable at this time...so maybe in the spring or something...)

but 30! its interesting the way numbers can play games with the head, and societal 'norms' that just will not be met in this life can influence the response to this change of decade, but i dont care. i have begun the process of applying for doctoral programs, still working my way at marymount, living my life.... only, sometimes i do care. do i need to dress different now, give up wearing pajamas to morning coffee and hippie dresses everywhere but work? do i need to act different now, find a way to be a little more sober and laugh a little quieter?

there was a time when i was convinced i wouldnt see 23, first because i was living my wacky insane careless ways (or because sally kept flashing her boobs at every car we passed on the road and i was sure one of those days someone was gonna follow us into a rest stop and that would be the end), then because i didnt think i would manage to live with my condition (ms). but the craziness ended and the surprise and depression cleared, and i learned to live.

this is also the days of awe, a time to reflect on life, what i have and have not accomplished, where i want to be and how to go forwarda nd i am realizing that i will head into this next chapter of my life with few regrets and plenty of growing still to be done.

30, i look forward to meeting you...

Song of the day: return to innocence- enigma

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

My answer to your question: No. You don't have to stop and change because yesterday you were 29 and today you are 30. Change if you want to for other reasons, but not a number. (R)

molly said...

lol...yes, you speak much like my own mind...i just needed to verbalize those questions though. it is a time for assessment and reevaluaiton for me and i appreciate your imput

Kirsti said...

“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.” Deepak Chopra
.... to add to this thought... whoever you are at this point in time is percisely who you need to be - "the hidden meaning is serving your own evolution". I can't wait to be there with you to welcome your 3-0 with open arms!

molly said...

glad to hear from you kirsti...i did not mention in the post that this week is the week between rosh hashana and yom kipor, and is considered "the days of awe". somehow, this quote you give to me feels all the more powerful, almost like a confirmation in where i am headed
thank you

Pesha said...

I hope you go to coffee in your pajama's on your 80th birthday because that is who you are. I will always wear my sweats whether it is age "appropriate" or not and I don't think either one of us has waited until we are old to wear purple!

reverend.rumble.fish said...

You must be You in all things and in all ways. The number is simply that, a number. It is a number which we use to tally how long we have been drifting through the cosmos. Socially we have set taboos and stigmas to these numbers, but that is because we correlate the number to Wisdom. "The older we get, the wiser we become."

These two unrelated matters do appear to go hand in hand -as one increases so does the other- but time only provides a distance and space for us to Experience.

Experience, if we choose to learn from it, will cultivate wisdom. And wisdom tends to draw us away from former foolishness.

But to Be, and to Be You, is something that time, experience, and wisdom cannot take away. These things may influence, cultivate, alter, and yes at times disrupt, but they cannot take You from You. You may let go of former things because of new perceptions and new understandings, but you are never required to let go of You.

molly said...

yes, we have been purple wearing people ....

molly said...

thank yoou, rumblefish, good words to consider and reflect on....good to see you

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