gestalt IV: unhealthy learning

arti know i am biased, but i went into this workshop experience excited to learn (as it is something i love and am good at), and with yet another expectation that i was not even aware that i had.

i expected that all the facilitators would approach the learning experience with the same thoughtful, curious and supportive toward exploration type of attitude that jackie had in the classroom. i was wrong.

i suppose this makes sense, as jackie is jackie and my facilitators now are six very different people, but i have been highly disappointed by the facilitator that appears to lead in all the theory based classroom type learning (as opposed to more intimate group and practice work).

everytime i tried to be verbal in the way i am in the classroom, i was told i was wrong, and quickly passed over rather then given the same space for exploring hat was given to others...i know that i am prolly a few steps ahead of many people in the room, but thats why jackies class was so important for me. i wasnt penalized at all for this, jackie found a way to still give me space to be advanced.

i did approach the facilitator at a break in the work and we sat down, and i asked him to please slow down a little with me- he pointed out i seem to talk real fast (which is true), i said true, but isnt that part of what we are doing here, learning to slow down. he said something about being right (another facilitator said i was during the session when i told him i felt unseen right after i had asked him a question and he had immediatly shut me down and went to move on), he asked if i needed to be right, i said it had nothing to do with right or wrong, i just felt devalued. he said i didnt need to worry, he liked me...i said its not about being liked, its about being respected and appreciated for what i can bring to the room....in other words, we still have not connected.

just needed to share