george bush resume

hat tip to Erin for this fun piece:
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been? "Lost" and is not available.

MILITARY
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam

COLLEGE
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12- month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.? I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I am a member of the Republican Party.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN THE 2006 MIDTERM ELECTIONS.
PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.


Song of the day:fortunate son- creedence clearwater revival

how unfair to the monkey!!

Song of the day:

the mornings truth

"and ive got no illusions about you
guess what- i never did
when i say i'll take it,
i mean as is"
-ani difranco

europa!

were going to london for my thirtieth, me and tonya!!

london is the easy part, as we have a friend working out there, its deciding where else to go within our ten days that will prove tricky. i say amsterdam-i hope to spend the actual day of my birth there, at the anne frank house most importantly, and tonya has her heart set on paris, but i am open to suggestions if anyone has any ideas on what would be most important for us to see over there in that short time

Song of the day: motion, keep me movin'- kd lang

enter moveon.justanotherpac

i am convinced that it is important to create an open diverse environment to provide discussion and education concerning the voting rights act with no political motivations. it is up for renewel in 2007, and it is important that people know about it.

my friend jeff sent this to me last night:

From: Ben Brandzel, MoveOn.org Political Action [mailto:moveon-help@list.moveon.org]
Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 12:30 PM
To: Jeff Hess
Subject: Help the NAACP save the Voting Rights Act

The 1965 Voting Rights Act needs to be renewed and is headed for the Senate, where some republicans will try to run down the clock. Next week, the NAACP is sending 2000 volunteers to Washington to meet with senators, and we want to arm them with signatures and comments from thousands of supportive Americans. Will you join in?


The Good News


Late yesterday afternoon, the House of Representatives overcame weeks of stall tactics from a conservative bloc of Republicans and re-authorized the Voting Rights Act! If we act now, we can help make sure it will pass in the Senate as well.





Dear MoveOn member,

A group of Republicans in the Senate are preparing to hold up the re-authorization of the 1965 Voting Rights Act—the landmark legislation that prevents partisan officials from denying minorities their right to vote. If the VRA is not reauthorized soon, it will open the door to voter discrimination in some of the highest risk areas around the country.
After the 8 hour lines, wrongly "purged" voter rolls and blatant intimidation many minority voters faced in Ohio and Florida in the last 2 elections, our nation cannot afford to make this problem any worse.
Next week, the NAACP is bringing over 2000 volunteers to Washington D.C. to walk door to door in the Senate making the case for the Voting Rights Act. You can help.
This morning, we're launching a petition asking the Senate to swiftly renew the Voting Rights Act. If you add your name now, we'll pass your signature and comments on to the NAACP volunteers to hand deliver to your Senators. Please sign today:

http://www.political.moveon.org/votingrights?id=8216-3080040-VkBMzPhcocKMNWdyrPy87w&t=2

The 1965 Voting Rights Act is one of the greatest accomplishments of the civil rights movement. It ended the Jim-Crow era poll taxes and "literacy tests" that had been used since the Civil War to stop African-Americans from voting. It forbids intimidating minority voters away from the polls, and bans drawing district lines to divide and diffuse minority votes.1
Though most of Congress supports re-authorizing the VRA, a right-wing bloc of Republicans managed to derail the bill for over a month in the House,2 (a blockade that finally ended yesterday).3 Now, the Voting Rights Act is headed to the Senate, where, as the AP is reporting, "The objections from House conservatives are being echoed by their colleagues across the Capitol."4 It's easier for a small group to stall things in the Senate, and a delay of even a few more weeks would push it off the Senate calendar for the rest of the year.
If the VRA is not reauthorized, several key provisions will simply expire. These include the requirement to provide multi-lingual ballots in relevant areas and special scrutiny for states and counties with a clear history of voter discrimination. Perhaps most importantly, the law allowing the federal government to investigate in high risk areas when there is specific evidence of voter intimidation could be wiped off the books—simply by continuing to delay.5
The NAACP, People for the American Way and other civil rights groups have made this their top priority, and they've asked us to join the fight. This petition will be unusually effective because we'll print out your signatures and comments and give them to NAACP volunteers to hand deliver to your senators. This not only ensures that you will be heard right way, but it adds great power to the NAACP effort.
Together, we can make sure that when those volunteers stand up in Washington, it will be clear to everyone they meet that they aren't standing alone. Please add your name today:

i appreciate both the naacp and moveon.org for the good works they do, and i will write my senator, but why arent they helping to educate people on what the voting rights act really contains right now, and how not all states were created equal under this act, and bringing forth ideascchanges that will improve the act instead of just saying the other guy has the wrong idea?

Song of the day:all food and creative love- rusted root

euclid

i read the article about euclid being sued for vote dilution while i was in that continuing ed. as well.

if you know me, you'd know that that this is exactly the kind of thing that will set of my inspired and vocal activist, and i began to talk about the atlanta coalition and how i want to start something here like that (i wonder why i dont just try and latch on to a movement already started, then i remember my disgust with the demcratic pary right now, and how i see the need for something fresh, and not connected to a political party)i talk about the black/jewish thing or even better, diversity in general, , and how i have even come up with some cute names that also make convenient acronyms.

the next thing i know, i have three people saying they are totally in and giving me their emails, saying to keep them informed as i get it started...on the outside, i accept this, and have already sent a thank you note....but on the inside i am panicking! everytime i sit down to work on plans, my head goes blank.

i guess i could use the fact that congress voted against easing voting restrictions on southern states as an excuse to just forget it... but i wont.

fall 2005

so i had this continuing ed. thing for the past couple days, and something in the material made me want to go back to my groups class literature,like there was something there for me to find. i found one author in common between the two experiences, and that was good, i will start my readings with gay hendricks, but even better, i went back to my class journal, and feel ready to begin looking at the poetry so here is the original collection as they were born. read it, skip it, make editing suggestions, i dont care

one-9/29/05
floored, hoisted into dis-
ability by her good intentions
perceived responsibility
a need to anticipate.

i jumped forcefully right
back into abled.
it only strengthened our connection.

two-10/11/05
i felt it in my chest, could feel
your eyes reading my words,
my accidental words unready to be processed

i experienced it in my gut, unable to digest
your non-securing response...
i like it that you look at me so much
please dont stop.

three- 10/21/05
The long Stick jabbing
straight through our natural preserve,
supported, steady Branch on one side.
Brushed up against balancing Stone,
broken Flower smiles, smiles Blood
Red and Leafy Yellow smiles. She buries Acorn
(our continual growth) in the distant
Muddy Blue Jeans, containing the moment.

Gentle Sun shining down on Stick,
she heats the inner, sticky wood,
strokes Flower and Stone and Leaves alike,
softens Mud, Branch stirs and Seed,
she pushes her roots toward the sky.

thumbs-11/3/05
living angles
like Sign, measured-fifty
forward and aging-
an entire language in your hands
more comfortable then eyes,
sometimes.
not always...
only when anxiety is high.

distracted in group-11/3/05
abandoned?
my poem, my cluster
left alone by a tree
by the roadside.
the sound of traffic more important-
is this true?

six- 11/10/06
anxiety head
dizzy and nauseus
everytime you spoke, hands moving or hands
paused- i am having trouble!
think, lady, find meaning in things

7-12/7/05
winter leaf. some crisper,
dying fingers carried off by the wind,
all ready. naked
stick and burried root
settle into the darkness.






Song of the day:

undefined generation

it should be simple to know what stage i am in life...late twenties, time to get married, start careers, have children.

this morning i read about a sixty two year old woman in briton who just had a baby. my mother didnt get her doctorate and start her career until i was in my early twenties (and understand i am highly proud of her and begrudge her nothing, but it is part of what i am talking about.) my generation is flailing as we leap toward the future, unable to find dependable work, appropriate healthcare, and we are moving back in with mom and dad (i recommend reading tamara draut sp?). there will be a dying social security system by the time i need help from the state.

somehow, my parents generation just doesnt want to let us take on our rightful position as we grow. erikson has been tossed out the window and life span development is left confused. and lets not forget about those younger then me, who grew up being taught to the test and having any sign of spirit medicated...

voting rights act part II: section 5

from: http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/voting/misc/faq.htm#faq01
When Congress amended and strengthened the Voting Rights Act in 1982, it extended for 25 more years--until 2007--the preclearance requirement of Section 5, the authority to use federal examiners and observers, and some of the statute's language minority requirements. So, for those sections to extend past 2007, Congress will have to take action. But even if these special provisions are not renewed, the rest of the Voting Rights Act will continue to prohibit discrimination in voting....Section 5 is a special provision of the statute (42 U.S.C. 1973c) that requires state and local governments in certain parts of the country to get federal approval (known as"preclearance") before implementing any changes they want to make in their voting procedures: anything from moving a polling place to changing district lines in the county..... Under Section 5, a covered state, county or local government entity must demonstrate to federal authorities that the voting change in question (1) does not have a racially discriminatory purpose; and (2) will not make minority voters worse off than they were prior to the change (i.e. the change will not be "retrogressive").

Section 5 applies to all or parts of the following states:
Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
California
Florida
Georgia
Louisiana
Michigan
Mississippi
New Hampshire
New York
North Carolina
South Carolina
South Dakota
Texas
Virginia (note: why isnt everyone on this list?)
The detailed list of "covered jurisdictions" is printed in the Code of Federal Regulations at the end of 28 C.F.R. Part 51. These are the Justice Department's Section 5 guidelines, which explain how the Section 5 review process works and help jurisdictions with terminology, deadlines and many other matters.
What is the Justice Department's role under Section 5?
Under Section 5, covered jurisdictions cannot enforce voting changes unless and until they obtain approval ("preclearance") either from the federal district court in Washington, D.C. or from the Attorney General. If the jurisdiction chooses to obtain preclearance from the Attorney General, s/he has 60 days after receiving all the necessary information to decide whether a governmental entity has shown that a proposed voting change is not discriminatory in purpose or effect.
The Justice Department investigates submissions carefully by studying documents, interviewing people in the affected community, and getting to know the facts. If the Attorney General decides that a proposed change was designed to discriminate against minority voters, or that, regardless of intent, it makes minority voters worse off than before, s/he will "object" to the change in a letter to the jurisdiction. If that happens, the change is legally unenforceable and cannot be put into effect, just as if the federal court had issued a ruling against the proposed change. If the jurisdiction disagrees with the Attorney General's objection, it can still take the matter to the federal court in Washington, D.C., where it will have to prove that its proposed change is not discriminatory either in purpose or in effect. If the Attorney General does not object, the change can be implemented. However, the Justice Department or a private party can still go to court under Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act and challenge the change as a racially discriminatory voting procedure.

The Voting Rights Act is not limited to discrimination that literally excludes minority voters from the polls. Section 2 of the Act (42 U.S.C. 1973) makes it illegal for any state or local government to use election processes that are not equally open to minority voters, or that give minority voters less opportunity than other voters to participate in the political process and elect representatives of their choice to public office. In particular, Section 2 makes it illegal for state and local governments to "dilute" the votes of racial minority groups, that is, to have an election system that makes minority voters' votes less effective than those of other voters. One of many forms of minority vote dilution is the drawing of district lines that divide minority communities and keep them from putting enough votes together to elect representatives of their choice to public office. Depending on the circumstances, dilution can also result from at-large voting for governmental bodies. When coupled with a long-standing pattern of racial discrimination in the community, these and other election schemes can deny minority voters a fair chance to elect their preferred candidates.

To show vote dilution in these situations, there must be a geographically concentrated minority population and voting that is polarized by race, that is, a pattern in which minority voters and white voters tend to vote differently as groups. It must also be shown that white voters, by voting as a bloc against minority-choice candidates, usually beat those candidates even if minority voters are unified or cohesive at the polls.

Anyone aggrieved by minority vote dilution can bring a federal lawsuit to stop it. If the court decides that the effect of an election system, in combination with all the local circumstances, is to make minority votes less effective than white votes, it can order a change in the election system. For example, courts have ordered states and localities to adopt districting plans to replace at-large voting, or to redraw their election district lines in a way that gives minority voters the same opportunity as other voters to elect representatives of their choice.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I THINK THIS SHOULD HANG IN EVERY VOTING STATION. I HAD NO IDEA....

voting rights act 2006

so apparently there is a rebel group in our congress, though less aggressive then any involved in an african coup, this tiny conservative cluster has been calling the VRA outdated, citing changes in the south as pointing toward a need for the change in policy.

however, if you have been reading the news coming in from the AP, an 8,000 page report that discusses the way many voters are still being disenfranchised, such as redistricting in texas (um, can we say gerrymandering)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_Texas_redistricting, or requiring a state id or drivers license (which will affect the voting rate of poor non-white voters mostly) etc. has come out, and still these men say to nix the vra

this made me think of something i had checked out when i was living in atlanta- the atlanlta black/jewish coalition (abjc). this group was originally formed in 1982 to create awareness concerning the voting rights act, and continues to work on relationship building between these two communities. i sent an email to their leadership a couple of days ago, because i have always been interested in starting something like this around here, and i thought maybe this would be a good place to start, since i am in full agreement that the past two elections have had many instances of discrimination and maybe, maybe people are finally getting angry enough to do something about it

the abjc sent back an empty email...


link to VRA FAQ:
http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/voting/misc/faq.htm#faq01

some sudanese history

the latest in darfur brings more news of the janjaweed moving into to chad, and the chad government reports that they have avoided attack in the city of ade.

i finally did a little research, as i truly feel that 99% of people have no idea what the darfur conflict is about. it is really part of a second civil war, the first war starting early on after being given free rule by britian and egypt 1956. most governmental power and resource was given to the northern sudenese, which was primarily arabic.

in 1958, a military coup overthrew the government and by 1962, two rebel groups from southern sudan (which was primarily african and christian), JEM (justice and equality movment)and SPLM (sudanese people's liberation movement) were strong in the civil war and demanding the right to self govern southern sudan.

in 1969, another coup placed a man named numeiri in control, and in 1972 the addis ababa accord was signed, leaving southern sudan with self-rule

then in 1978, oil was found in southern sudan (oh, AHA!)

then in 1983, numeiri instilled shari'a law over not just islamic northern sudan, but also on southern sudan and once again, civil war broke out led by the splm.

then, in 1985, there was another coup (i am so grateful that we dont have coup's here), and this time a semi-democratic government was put in power led by sadiq al-mahdi. al-mahdi removed shari'a law and was once again working with the rebels, trying to create another agreement in addis ababa.

unfortunately, al-mahdi was a weak leader and was never able to have good control. in 1989, Al-bashir (the current governmantal leader) was a major player in yet another coup. he created a highly religious dictatorship, and once again, jem and splm(which eventually becomes the presently talked about rebel faction SLA)became active and combined. unfortunatly due to intenal conflict, strife left three factions that spend a number of years fighting against themselves.

jump up to the '90s: sudan is now exporting oil (and keep in mind, the oil is found in the south, but the north controls the government and therefor the oil)

there was a famine in 2000
there was a peace agreement in 2002...almost- really, the peace agreement movement was being encouraged by uganda as they were suffereing due to the sudanese conflict

then in 2003, two local miltias from the darfur region begin to rebel against governmental neglect and suppression (guess that shari'a finally reached them)...

from this point out, you are probably familiar with the story- the use of the janjaweed because there was a lack of military presence in darfur, of the refugees, the movement towards chad (might it have something to do with their lake?)...i did leave alot out, and you will find, if you do your own research,many more interesting and political connections, but this is enough of a history lesson for today

as for the present: from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/5144154.stm

"The US accuses the government of backing Arab militias who have carried out a genocide against the region's black African residents.
The government denies backing the Janjaweed militias and blames the violence on the rebels, who took up arms, accusing the authorities of ignoring the region"


biblio: http://crawfurd.dk/africa/sudan_timeline.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Sudan_(Sadiq_Al_Mahdi_and_Coalition_Governments)
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/war/sudan-political-groups.htm

al qaeda more then just al-zarqawi? no way!!!

ok, forgive my sarcasm, but when zarqawi died, i knew it wouldn't make much of difference. i finally made the jump to leave yahoo (and let me tell you, old yahoo habits are hard to break), and so i have been getting most my news from the bbc. it is a very differentstory that what i have been exposed to...

"The US ambassador to Baghdad, Zalmay Khalilzad, has said the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi last month has had no impact on the violence.
But he said the killing had encouraged some insurgent groups to join government reconciliation talks."- i would site this further, except there doesnt seem to be bylines at the bbc...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5144520.stm

roseanna's garden

on sunday's i face my multiple sclerosis head on-sunday is medication day. i take avonex, a once weekly intramuscular injection and while it is something i can and have administered to myself, my friend andy usually does it right now. this week, i was joyed to find out his wife roseanna was at home and gardening and i quickly left andy to read his book on the porch to go join her. she took her time introducing me to the product of her green thumb.

the most impressive plant in the yard, for me, is the grape vine roseanna brought over from italy, where she has family and land. i love it that there is a grape vine growing on east 130th street! only the birds eat this fruit though

then she made me look at her brocolli even though cabbage makes me gag (and it was funky looking broccoli to top it off)

she showed me her pea...and when i say pea in the singular, i mean there was one little pea growing on the the thin stalk tied to her porch with twine...but it tasted really good

lastly she showed me her lettuce, and decided i needed to take some home for supper

washed the lettuce for me in the driveway, and after eating a piece fresh off the ground to quiet my protests of tire tread marks and car grease

she sent me home with a healthy dinner


Song of the day: sowing the seeds of love- tears for fears

camera regulational

ok, so i love my new digital camera, incase you can't tell, really like taking pictures, uploading them, sharing them...

i am taking alot of pictures of wild animals, my self and my pets and things because i dont know what it is ok to post. can i post a picture of the two kids having an ant massacre at the park or could that be problematic at some point (not that anyone reads this thing, but what if...)

maybe there are no rules at all, but it seems to me that i am putting these things in public space. jeff hess told me that as long as it isnt private property, you can do what ever, and that basically only includes backyards, inside peoples private homes and (i add thi on my own) any situation where there is some expectation of confidentiality.

here's to hoping i keep getting braver and taking more liberties on this endevour


Song of the day:wooden ships- csn&y

tattoos

september 1994- just for rebellion's sake, i was only seventeen
done on john hilliard's couch with indian ink and a needle by my friend keith (aka, ms. vivian), sally got one on her hand that same evening


December, 1994- got two days before an indigo girls show right where amy ray has her tattoo- the left forearm...but i actually first saw on a camp counselor and had been planning this for years before i fell in love with the indigo girls.


March, 1997 - my diagnosis tattoo


bracelet with dreamcatcher in center, turtles on both ends, crescent moon in center of spider webbish part (my night), does not connect in the inner wrist

October 26, 1999 -my 23 birthday present to myself
located in the center of chest

hand towards heart represents openness to life, eye is the analytic eye, kudzu is what i fight and the sun rises and the sun sets.

...and in case you didnt notice, the sun is prevalent in my story

forgiving the teeth marks

this is a digital picture
taken of a regular picture
that my friend just sent
of me making up with the horse that bit me.
(SEE http://afterenlightenment.blogspot.com/2006/06/horse-bitten-and-sometimes-shy.html )

i had no idea she had taken this!

employment

Ok, I think it is time to throw some public humiliation into my life. I really need to address the fact that I have not gotten a full time job yet. I feel like I have been sitting in this place for too long and while I may have reason enough (as some of you know), I need to start moving on, and I am having trouble finding myself. Oh, and unless you have seen me naked, please feel free to encourage or pressure me into working.

Truth is, beyond three electronic applications for inpatient psych work and posting my resume on monster.com, I haven’t even looked for employment. I buy the paper every Sunday, but I never remember to read the jobs section and everytime I start to feel like I cant get enough work staying prn status at marymount, a nice chunk of days get dropped into my schedule, and I am back to having enough to live on, and this dreadful feeling of complacency scares me.

I am not a complacent person in general. I am the type that when I want something or I become interested in something, I just want more and then I want change and then growth and then more again (though I have to work on lowering the level my anxiety reaches with the change part). There is not much room for these things where I am in psyche, professionally or personally. Only more of the same.

i dont believe in laziness, not in the american sense, which is based on the protestant work ethic and connected to morality and sin. i think there is always a reason for an aversion to working, being tired, or depressed, even not being able to achieve the education to do work that has meaning, but i can't seem to muddle my way through what is causing lazy behavior in me


Song of the day: bang on the drum- todd rundgren

customer appeasement

to give credit where credit is due, metro toyota took my complaints seriously, sent a runner to pick up my car for the third trip out there, fixed it, gave me a certain amount of discount, washed the card, brought it back to me and provided me with a ten dollar gas card. this was more then i ever expected.

i will continue to take my car to them for service and can once again recommend them as a dealership.

Song of the day:sunny came home-shawn colvin

sometimes, i wish i was a housecat...

this is a typical day in neitzche's life





... my days resemble my cats days entirely too much right now.
Song of the day :yes i will-michael frenti

the truth

if you can afford to spend twenty million dollars on a house.... YOU ARE TOO RICH and it is probably corrupting you.

then and now

then:
-"a German image of a portly Jewish tycoon peering lecherously at a young Christian woman." from: http://www.fpp.co.uk/.../ caricatures_collection.html

and one that is a little more obvious

"Buy from the Jews, betray your people." from:www.calvin.edu/academic/ cas/gpa/sturm28.htm

Webb's flyer of harris miller, the democrat he defeated in the primary race in virginia (see previous post and link)


...antisemetism always starts simple, and while there are more obvious examples of it in both german and american society, it is most dangerous in its subversive nature... NEVER AGAIN

is this how it starts?

from: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060614/ap_on_el_ge/primary_races

Webb wins Senate primary race in Va. By BOB LEWIS, Associated Press Writer

....Webb, 60, referred to Miller in a televised debate as "the anti-Christ of outsourcing," claiming that Miller, as a lobbyist for a major Internet-industry organization, helped drive technology jobs overseas. Also, a Webb flier contained a caricature of Miller with a hooked nose and cash spilling from his pockets. Miller, who is Jewish, called the brochure "despicable"; Webb said it was not anti-Semitic.....

hmmm...and that doesnt even touch the surface of this article about a republican turned democrat

customer disservice

so i hit a curb last thursday and flattened my front right tire as well as destroyed the frame.

it happens, no big deal. i call the dealer and schedule an oil change and tell the guy "i have a scion xa, bought it from you in february. i hit a curb, flattened the tire and bent the frame". he tells me that the tire will cost $98, etc. itll only take an hour or two and we set up an appointment for saturday

on saturday i drive from shaker square to brookpark and w. 137th on the service roads since i only have a donut and not a full spare. they tell me that they can't do it til mon. (apparently the guy who set up the appointment forgot to put the order in) but that they have a dealer's frame that costs $25, which i take and acceptingly set up an appointemtn for tuesday.

so there i am this morning, and the guy says to me "well, i just found out the frame i told about is for an xb and so you will have to pay full p;rice (i am not annoyed at this point, it happens)but we wont have the correct wheel until tomorrow. sorry but its not anything i did"

then i was mad. this man works for a company. when he speaks to a customer, he represents every worker who played a part in this. and this experience is costing me time and money, the trip is close to thirty miles round trip (close to one hundred miles to have my dealer put a new tire on my car when gas is $3?!!) and also when they told me they had a frame for me that was for the wrong car, that was entirely their responsibility.

i understand i understand that this specific man was not entirely responsible (though i am mildly suspicios that he is not only the man who set the appointment, but also the one who was careless when looking frames up on the computer) and that it is difficult to be a representative for a large corporation such as metro toyota and to sometimes have to do the "mea culpa" for others, but whatever happened to taking responsibility for error. had the guy just said, we messed up and offered me a ten dollar gas card (for over $400 worth of a tire replacement including my milage) or something that instead of saying "i didn't do it!" like a kid who just broke a vase, i would have had no problem here...can i blame wal-mart for this one too?

shame on new york...again

if you didnt know who kevin aviance was before, there's a good chance we will here alot more in the future

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060611/ap_on_en_mu/singer_beaten

"look outside the window, there's a woman being grabbed
they've dragged her to the bushes and now she's being stabbed.
maybe we should call the cops and try to stop the pain
but monopoly is so much fun, i'd hate to blow the game
and i'm sure it wouldn't interest anyone
outside of a small circle of friends"
from "outside a small circle of friends"-phil ochs

naked

it's the bravest (and one of the best)things i ever did!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/58199339@N00/sets/490876

welcome

welcome to the world, my friend

lucas james 6/7/06

The Invitation - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow; if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-Excerpt from The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

thank you, alisa, i will remember you

Qiyu

my friend qiyu (pronounced she-you, but i just call her chi)calls her self ugly and fat often. she tells me i am beautiful because i look like an american (meaning i am white, and have lighter hair then her).

we were just hanging out on a friend's porch this evening, and i took these pictures


i am overwhelmed by her beauty

leaping into the future

meter yourself-
save this as a draft.

suddenly out of my confused fog, i slowed myself down enough to realize that i want to be doing diversity work! you know, i couldn't figure out a word for this feeling of needing to be talking about diversity all the time-diversity (race, culture, religion, disability, preference) and how it interweaves with economics, society, gender, etc., it's always there. it always was. for awhile, i was only interested in jewish/black relationships, the decaying of, ways to rebuild an interactive community, but it just keeps growing.

diversity came up this weekend. it was interesting, and i cannot really talk about it (that darned confidentiality issue), but i can say that the word negro was used, and there was such a charge in me, trying to hold the dicotomy of my anger at the word and understanding for the different age and times.

meter yourself- breathe
always back to the breath

i am getting dizzy, trying to think where i need to head to be able to do what i am driven to do...i am really not very good at planning. maybe this is enough for today, this and to keep breathing.



Song of the day: saharan groove

turtle walk

not that i mean to over turtle you, but these are the things i experience, it is not intended but a blessing.











Song of the day: watershed- indigo girls

"you'll never fly as the crow flies,
get used to a country mile
when you're learning to face the path at your pace,
every choice is worth your while"- emily saliers

living among giants

so the first thing to be spit out of my processing machine was a discussion had during sunday's session of my workshop.

one of the facilitators told us how carl rodgers came to him for an ear while he was training with rodgers (i couldnt believe he didnt panic), and brought up the idea of full human potential, and how there is a giant in each of us, whether a Giant or a giant, it is there.

this is yet another one of those things i remember that majickal professor brought up somewhere along the line, and i just didnt get it. i think alot of that is because there is no time to fully appreciate the metaphorical interaction that i also experienced this weekend in the ways i have known her. but there i am on the last day of this thing, and i am finally putting all the pieces together.

and i realized something else....she is one of my Giants, and i panicked (am panicking, will panic?), and i fear my giant, and i think that's what she was looking at.

Song of the day: luck in my eye- kd lang

gestalted

and so the future is here. i had my first gestalt workshop this weekend, and it is right for me....now i just need to find more work because i need to bring in about three hundred dollars more then i am right now working my ten or so prn days each month... but i am taking care of a lot of housekeeping in this period, so atleast i am productive?

i will share more about my weekend at some point, when i am ready, but not today.



Song of the day: 32 seconds- michelle malone

horse bitten and sometimes shy

i was bitten by a horse.


it was my mistake. i was waiting for my friend to get off her cell phone (which she was on for over half an hour), so i was just wandering along side a fence around the horse ring. one of the horses followed me. i went in the other direction and the horse followed still. i just stood there. the horse stood there. then the horse began to walk in the other direction on the inside.

i was curious if this was really a game or coincedence (i don't really speak horse), so it was my turn to follow around (it really did seem to be a game). then i was bored so i patted the horse on the head and went to walk away, but the horse nipped the hood/shoulder of my sweater and gave a gentle tug in his direction. "alright" i said "i'll play a little longer". we repeated this pattern for a little bit, following eachother, my trying to make an exit, her little tug.

the day progressed and the sun got stronger. i decided to take my sweater off, yet the game stayed the same. once again i went to walk away and once again Horse nipped at my sweater but got my arm instead.

i told everyone it was a love bite, what does a horse know of an arm from a sweater, and it didnt hurt. but it was ugly, and people seemed delighted and shocked that i had been bitten by a horse. what makes this most interesting of all, however, is how the bruise faded



it looked like a heart! that horse must really like me (blush).



Song of the day: i'd like to live in a wigwam-cat stevens

grad photo

i am the tall redhead for those of you who dont know me

my brain-choice mri shots 4/06

these are two pictures from my last mri. i circled some of the myelin damage in the mylen on the first photo to make clear what is the ms. the white areas are "lesions" where the myelin has been attacked and then scarred over. the black areas are the ventricles, but in general, what you mostly see is called "gray matter"

clevelands hottest new neighborhood?

at the coffee shop on fairmount circle by jcu, looking for a free rag to read, i notice a white, laminated stack of cardboard flyers with "clevelands hottest new neighborhood" printed horizontally, with photos of the insides of homes-and the houses are very good looking.

i think to myself "hmm, i wonder where this is?" and flip the card over. the housing section is called "the cloisters" and said to be located in the "warszawa historic district" i am shocked to find out that they are calling the area on fleet avenue between 65th and 55th "the hottest neighborhood", but understand now why all the pictures where taken inside the home and only one tight shot of the outside. then the card continues on, calling the housing affordable first, then stating prices range from $150,000-$200,000.

i am an intimate of this neighborhood. it is in slavic village, and a matter of blocks from where shakira johnson was found. this space, where i worked daycare (corner of fleet and broadway), giving breakfast to many children who hadnt eaten since the afternoon snack i had provided my class the day before. here is where they build georgeus houses and call it "cloistered"?! (forgive my spelling)

i am tired of this city.

song of the day: ohio- the pretenders

Turtle

attempting to camoflage with weeds, she was noticed.
her head darted in and out of shell, neck
straining, confused by the intrusion.
there was egged disappointment at her loss of privacy.

the stranger sat next to turtle(head in shell)
but was quiet and motionless (head out of shell)
and when turtle realized she was protected
for a moment she turned a slow circle
counter-clockwise (if a turtle can read the clock).
she cautiously scuffled off, until hidden
once again by giant iris stalks and river grass.
she was never quite sure why,
why discovering the world was safe in the present
didn't keep her watery fins from running.

chronic illness and recovery

one of the hardest challenges for me when it comes to my illness is the recovery...that sounds silly, but it's true

i read oliver sachs (a neurologist and author, for those who dont know) many years ago already, before diagnosis even, and one case that always interested me was called "the case of the color blind painter". imagine, being a painter, and suddenly going color blind. a man who loves colors and the interplay of light and dark with such, suddenly is reduced to a palette of two. how will he incorporate this new reality? can he still paint?

in this case, the man adapted to his new reality over the next few years, eventually realizing that he had so accomodated that he would not purposely reintroduce color to his vision....but it did take years for him to make it through the recovery and accomodation period....which taught me to be gently with self while i heal.

i say this knocking on wood,knowing that my relapse-remitting course can become progressive (most certainly not what i want), but my vision, or skin sensation, or muscle control remains altered for 2-16 weeks, slowly returning to or close to my usual experience in stages of healing or i steroid my way into a quicker fix. it is important to consider this in how i manage my life, because it can take much longer then two months to adjust to a new challenge or disability that is inherent to the body when it is permanent, but i need to readjust to this new change and then go back to the normal way on a semi-regular basis. the changes never get past the distracting phase.

i know this strongly affects my ability to be an active person as well as my mental health (especially the steroids, which turn me into a nut for 3-4 months)and i either withdrawl, or end up embarrasing myself pretty bad socially.

just remember, when working with someone with a condition that has this rise and fall aspect such as ms (and there are many others, all mental illnesses, parkinson, etc...even cancer)to leave room for the healing after the difficulties have subsided... recovery involves a whole new set of challenges on its own


Song of the day: moment of forgiveness-amy ray

diversity and poland?

last, spring, there was a jewish speaker from poland at a lunch forum given at msass (thats at cwru for those of you who dont know).

my mother's paternal family is polish, and they came over to cleveland in the early nineteen hundreds to keep my great-grandfather from being taken by the russian army to serve in siberia or the ukraine or fill in the blank with any other scary and cold russian wasteland (for that is what they did with jews in those days) so i was fascinated

unfortunatly i do not remember the speakers name, but she had written a book on being jewish in post-war poland, and it was shocking to hear that judiasm had become a "fad" in poland, and the speaker compared it to main stream white america's embracing of the hip-hop culture. i found this disconcerting, and highly distrusted this opinion, despite her experiences during her upbringing.

then i read this this evening, and i am reminded to never forget:

from yahoo: Poland's chief rabbi attacked in Warsaw By VANESSA GERA, Associated Press Writer
20 minutes ago

KRAKOW, Poland - Poland's chief rabbi was punched and attacked with what appeared to be pepper spray in downtown Warsaw in what police said may have been an anti-Semitic attack
Michael Schudrich, a New Yorker who became Poland's chief rabbi in 2004, was heading to a Sabbath lunch Saturday near Warsaw's main synagogue with a group of people when a young man yelled out "Poland for Poles!"
"That's a well-known pre-World War II slogan which basically means 'Jews, get out of Poland,' and I didn't like hearing it. So I approached the gentleman to ask him why he said such things and his reaction was to punch me in the chest," Schudrich told The Associated Press.
"I was going to hit him back. But before I had a chance to hit him he sprayed me with some kind of spray — maybe pepper spray."
Schudrich said his eyes still burned from the spray but that he was otherwise uninjured. His attacker escaped.
Prime Minister Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz called Schudrich to express his regrets and "declare that there is no place for anti-Semitism," government spokesman Konrad Ciesiolkiewicz told the news agency PAP.
The attack is "especially painful because it happened during the visit of Pope Benedict XVI to Poland, when the whole country is in prayer," Ciesiolkiewicz said.

Before World War II, Poland had a large Jewish community of about 3.5 million that was nearly wiped out in the Holocaust. Those who survived faced repression under communism, which ended in 1989. Today, the community is tiny.
The U.S. Ambassador to Poland, Victor Ashe, visited Schudrich on Sunday to express his sympathy and solidarity.
"There is no place for bigotry and all who abhor such intolerance must join together to condemn it. We must work to prevent re-occurrences," Ashe told the AP. He also said he appreciated the "seriousness" with which Polish authorities were treating the attack.
Police appealed to the public for help in finding the assailant, believed to be about 25. They said they believed they were making headway.
"The fact that it happened just as the pope is visiting Poland and going to Auschwitz means the attack could have had an anti-Semitic motive, that it was meant to tarnish the image of Poland," Interior Ministry spokesman Tomasz Sklodowski said.
Schudrich was among Jewish religious leaders who said Kaddish, or the Jewish prayer for the dead, during a ceremony led by the pope at the former Nazi death camp Auschwitz-Birkenau on Sunday.
Schudrich said he did not believe the attack was connected to the pope's visit. Instead he linked it to what he said was a rise of intolerance connected to a new governing coalition that includes the League of Polish Families, or LPR, a small right-wing party with ideological ties to a prewar anti-Semitic party and a radical youth wing.
"With the LPR in the government, ultra-rightists who felt somehow constrained in their behavior now feel they can do whatever they want," Schudrich said.

pictures

i finally got a digital camera (its a hand-me-down) so i am just waiting to get the cords for it. i feel like maybe if i can do cool things like put up pictures i will find motivation for blogging again.

apologies

for disappearing again. the graduation was exhausting!that's all...and i am in another one of my not sharing phases, but i will get over it.

commencement weekend

so far, i am finding this entire experience emotional and uncomfortable. my mother is staying in my bedroom, i am stuck on the futon, and it is crowded. my grandparents and classmates really start coming in to town tomorrow ...i cant believe i committed to walking across a stage in a silly hat with all my curls sticking in every direction and my family being family.

i am not entirely sure why i am feeling embarrased either. i mean, this is a huge accomplishment that i struggled for, right, so why am i not flooded in pride?

oh, and by the way, my boss, you know, the one from the hospital (i am still an employee, even if it is only PRN (meaning they call me as i am needed for those of you who dont know what PRN is) anyhow, my boss invited me to a barbeque at her house next friday...i hadn't realized our relationship had grown that much, but it is something i am very open too. i really like her as a person, and it always made me sad that i irritated her as much as i do.

Song of the day: here comes the sun- the beatles

mental health and the united states military

this is a part of the problem. we have no draft and we send people who are unfit to war..... this article only talks in terms of suicides, but i wonder what the statistics for aggressive and homicidal behavior are as well. you do not put some one suffering from PTSD on active duty- flashbacks and increased stress are likely to be the outcome ....i also feel sarcastic, and want to snidely say "i guess HIMMA is in place in the army already."

why don't people care more?

FROM : http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060514/ap_on_re_us/military_suicides

Report: Military Ignoring Mental Illness Sun May 14, 11:52 AM ET

HARTFORD, Conn. - U.S. military troops with severe psychological problems have been sent to Iraq or kept in combat, even when superiors have been aware of signs of mental illness, a newspaper reported for Sunday editions.
The Hartford Courant, citing records obtained under the federal Freedom of Information Act and more than 100 interviews of families and military personnel, reported numerous cases in which the military failed to follow its own regulations in screening, treating and evacuating mentally unfit troops from Iraq.
In 1997, Congress ordered the military to assess the mental health of all deploying troops. The newspaper, citing Pentagon statistics, said fewer than 1 in 300 service members were referred to a mental health professional before shipping out for Iraq as of October 2005.
Twenty-two U.S. troops committed suicide in Iraq last year, accounting for nearly one in five of all non-combat deaths and the highest suicide rate since the war started, the newspaper said.
Some service members who committed suicide in 2004 and 2005 were kept on duty despite clear signs of mental distress, sometimes after being prescribed antidepressants with little or no mental health counseling or monitoring, the Courant reported. Those findings conflict with regulations adopted last year by the Army that caution against the use of antidepressants for "extended deployments."
"I can't imagine something more irresponsible than putting a soldier suffering from stress on (antidepressants), when you know these drugs can cause people to become suicidal and homicidal," said Vera Sharav, president of the Alliance for Human Research Protection, a New York-based advocacy group. "You're creating chemically activated time bombs."
Although Defense Department standards for enlistment disqualify recruits who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, the military also is redeploying service members to Iraq who fit that criteria, the newspaper said.
"I'm concerned that people who are symptomatic are being sent back. That has not happened before in our country," said Dr. Arthur S. Blank, Jr., a Yale-trained psychiatrist who helped to get post-traumatic stress disorder recognized as a diagnosis after the Vietnam War.
The Army's top mental health expert, Col. Elspeth Ritchie, acknowledged that some deployment practices,
"The challenge for us ... is that the Army has a mission to fight. And, as you know, recruiting has been a challenge," she said. "And so we have to weigh the needs of the Army, the needs of the mission, with the soldiers' personal needs."
Commanders, not medical professionals, have final say over whether a troubled soldier is retained in the war zone. Ritchie and other military officials said they believe most commanders are alert to mental health problems and are open to referring troubled soldiers for treatment.

mother's day- daisy zamora

I do not doubt you would have liked
one of those pretty mother's in the ads:
complete with adoring husband and happy children.
She's always smiling, and if she cries at all
it is absent of lights and camera,
make-up washed from her face.

But since you were born of my womb, I should tell you:
ever since I was small like you
I wanted to be myself-and for a woman that's hard-
(even my Guardian Angel refused to watch over me
when she heard).

I cannot tell you that I know the road.
Often I lose my way
and my life has been a painful crossing
navigating reefs, in and out of storms,
refusing to listen to the ghastly sirens
who invite me into the past,
neither compass nor binnacle to show me the way.

But I advance,
go forward holding to the hope
of some distant port
where you, my children -I'm sure-
will pull in one day
after I've been lost at sea.

ohio- the struggle for healthcare is far from over

it is important to not overlook senators voinovich and dewine's yeah votes in relation to the HIMMA bill. i don't know how ohio stacks up in coverage, but i hope to find out. i intend on doing some stastics research this week, but it doesnt seem helpful to create a decrease in health insurance coverage. werent they just publising stastics that applaud the increase in numbers of americans with coverage? i can think of only two motivations for this.

first, even the name of the bill "marketplace modernization" says it all. its about who is gonna make money (and should i point out the multimillion dollars spent on pharmicological advertisements which really just encourage the consumer to mistrust what their doctor says because they would be better if they were on this pill). second, limits would need to be set on medical care, and that scares the crap out of us becasue we think we should get to live forever. the truth is, we are unwilling to discuss things we are going to need to discuss in this changing world of healthcare (such as, something like 80% of all lifetime medical costs is focused on the last six months of life...that's alot to spend just to die), and everyone wants to believe they will be the ones who get to keep their insurance....one for himself and there is no all.


Song of the day:

indigo girls 2- october 1994, akron ohio, e.j. thomas hall

the cast: molly (that's me)
sally (the first of many shows for us)
luis (sally's puerto rican boyfriend)
vivian (a six foot loud-mouthed drag queen)
shanna (my on again off again best friend)

forget about the ride down to Akron listening to rush and gwar (luis drove), forget about getting lost looking for fast food, forget about the fact a few of us had
been going on a no-doze washed down with coffee high for three days, the show had some highlights.

sally and vivian met michelle malone in the lobby after her opening set. apparently, sally had fallen madly in lust with michelle during her six songs, so vivian took it upon herself to tell michelle that she had turned sally gay...michelle says "if i only had a dime". it was the start of an interesting relationship.

after the show, we did as all good groupies do, and waited out back to see the indigo girls drive off (a first for me). ms. vivian yelled to the girls "as ms. ohio city oasis 1993 (i dont know if she really was or not), i want to thank you on behalf of clevelands gay youth blahb blah blah blahabklhablh" then shanna literally threw herself on the front of the car is it tried to drive away....and i thought I was a little fan struck and nutty

Song of the day: reunion-indigo girls

HIMMA defeated!!

from the american counseling association...i really hope at least one of the ohio senators voted against it too, but i guess beggers cant be choosers

From: ACA Public Policy Listserv on behalf of Scott Barstow
Sent: Fri 5/12/2006 5:25 PM
To: ACA-GR@LISTSERV.COUNSELING.ORG
Subject: ACA UPDATE: S. 1955 Stalls on Senate Floor

Thanks to loud and concerted grassroots opposition on the part of ACA members and others, S. 1955—the “Healthcare Marketplace Modernization and Affordability Act,” or HIMMA—was stopped on the Senate floor this week. ACA joined a long list of national and state health care consumer, provider, disability, social service, human rights, labor, and other organizations in opposing S. 1955. In a procedural vote on May 11th to end debate on the bill, only 55 Senators voted “yes,” five votes fewer than the 60 votes needed. S. 1955 would have gutted states’ ability to establish minimum health insurance quality standards and benefits, including laws in 22 states supporting coverage of counselors’ services and laws in 39 states establishing minimum coverage standards for mental health services in general.

In addition to sending our recent e-mail alerts, ACA joined other groups in signing a letter to all Senators on May 8th urging opposition to the bill. As the letter stated:

“S. 1955 would take away the states’ power to regulate health insurance. The bill preempts benefit, service and provider laws that states have enacted to ensure that consumers have adequate health coverage. Coverage for cancer screenings and treatment, diabetes supplies and education, mental health, preventive care, rehabilitation, well-child care and immunizations, maternity care, and other important health care needs would be lost.”

The letter went on to point out that S. 1955 “would preempt stronger state laws that limit the ability of insurers to vary premiums based on health status, age, gender and geography. For many older, sicker Americans and those with complex health needs and disabilities, this would price them out of the health insurance market, undermining the stated purpose of the legislation.” By allowing health plans to effectively “cherry pick” the healthiest individuals, S. 1955 runs counter to the basic premise of insurance, which is to spread risk as broadly and inclusively as possible.

Among the many organizations signing on to the letter in addition to ACA were the American Psychological Association, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the National Association of Social Workers, the American Federation of Teachers, the National Disability Rights Network, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, and the National Mental Health Association. Several state insurance commissioners and attorneys general also came out against the legislation.

ACA sincerely thanks those counselors who took the time to contact their Senators to urge their opposition to the legislation. Your work helped make the difference! Unfortunately, similar legislation may be brought up again later this session. ACA will continue to follow this issue and take action as needed.

For more information, contact:
Scott Barstow
Director of Public Policy and Legislation
American Counseling Association
5999 Stevenson Avenue
Alexandria, VA 22304
ph: 800-347-6647 x234

2007 ACA Annual Convention
March 21-25, 2007

Detroit, Michigan
www.counseling.org/convention

Song of the day: hammer and a nail- indigo girls

a new definition of demcrat

I am angered by Howard Dean, and now i fully agree with jeff hess... it is time for a new party, because there is truly no progressiveness among the democrats as they cater to the right wing and join in on liberal bashing.

indigo girls 1-July 1994, nautica stage, cleveland ohio

the thing that sucked about high school for me is my difference. the first indigo girls show i went to i was accompanied by sarah, jen and heather- all blond with a mean type of bubbly demeanor. i was seventeen and F-A-T, with crazy red curls flying all over the place. they liked to talk about make-up and shopping alot. i did not.

i saw women everywhere down there by the river, my friends trying to keep me engaged, but there were wimmin everywhere! hippie chicks (mmmmmm), jock-dykes (not that i knew that term quite yet), preppies, deisels, lipsticks, just women everywhere!

suddenly i understood myself alot better...i really like women.

Song of the day: Least Complicated- Indigo Girls

forget polotics

so i dont want to talk about polotics right now. truth is, i have no idea on how to create any change right now, and i don't feel like running my mouth when i have no intention on doing anything about it.

i could use some room to write fictionalized memories anyhow.

Song of the day: my there for me guitar-caroline aiken

an email from my mother...

my mom forwarded this to me this morning, and i think it is important for as many people as possible to know about this.

THIS BILL WOULD AFFECT WOMEN (MATERNITY INSURANCE), MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES, PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS, OLDER AMERICANS...THIS BILL WILL AFFECT US ALL!!!

From: ACA Public Policy Listserv on behalf of Scott Barstow
Sent: Mon 5/1/2006 6:23 PM
To: ACA-GR@LISTSERV.COUNSELING.ORG
Subject: ACA ALERT: Anti-S.1955 Call-In Day -- THIS WEDNESDAY



ACA is joining with an unprecedented array of national and state health care consumer, provider, disability, social service, human rights, labor, and other organizations in opposing S. 1955, the Health Insurance Marketplace Modernization and Affordability Act. As noted in an e-mail last week, this legislation would obliterate state health insurance laws and regulations protecting consumers.

S. 1955 could come up for a vote as soon as this week. To help defeat the legislation, several national organizations are sponsoring a national call-in day.

CALL YOUR SENATORS TOLL-FREE THIS WEDNESDAY, MAY 3rd, at 1-800-828-0498!

To identify your Senators, hit ACA’s legislative action center on the web at http://capwiz.com/counseling. You’ll also find an alert on this issue.

When you reach your Senators’ offices, tell them to vote AGAINST S. 1955 (also known as the “Enzi bill”) because it will:
Allow health plans to do an end-run around state laws requiring coverage of counselors services and other mental health services;
Let insurers discriminate based on health status, age, gender, and other criteria that prevent health care costs from skyrocketing for many Americans.

Please take advantage of the toll-free number, and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about this issue.

Scott Barstow
Director of Public Policy and Legislation
American Counseling Association
5999 Stevenson Avenue
Alexandria, VA 22304
ph: 800-347-6647 x234

2007 ACA Annual Convention
March 21-25, 2007
Detroit, Michigan
www.counseling.org/convention

bras across america?

ok, so its not in america, but i keep thinking about hands across america when i read this story... it has a purpose that is as important.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060430/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_cyprus_bras

powell speaks, rice forgets

so colin powell has re-entered the iraq discussion, saying on a british show that he verbalized his concerns BEFORE the war began that more troops were needed. now, as the insurgency continues and the quagmire (as it truly is) deepens, all condoleeza rice can say is something like "i dont really know what mr. powell is talking about, but i am sure that what he had to say was considered if it was important," ? i think the way this administration uses forgetfulness and denial to continue on as if they had no idea iraq would become this mess is actually rather passe....george, dick, rummy...guys, we know so get over it already and fix this mess!


read the story http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060430/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_iraq


Song of the day:

turtle watching

i have taken to spending time almost every day up at shaker lakes just turtle watching. it was about two weeks ago that after a mildly intense walk with hand weights i found a rounded patch of dry grass to sit on by the northwest corner of one of the lakes. i saw a large turtle shell sticking out of the water and a tiny little turtle sitting on the shell. i then noticed that some of the deadish leaves laying stagnant in the mucky bank sod were actually turtles. i began to check this turtle nest daily and by day three i was convinced that the large shell hadnt moved even an inch... this past tuesday, i saw the shell had begun to decompose, and now it is gone.

i also discovered a new path on the north side of the lake that took me right down to the water's edge, and except for a rancid whiff every now and then i felt really relaxed. as i walked this path, i heard a splash here and there and became more attentive to the things around me. there were many dead branches that had fallen strategically into the lake, and often there were turtles, little and big, lined up on the branches. i suppose these were the brave ones, and the splashes the fearful turtles.

the turtle is a totem, a protector, of mine. i kind of chose it for myself after i was diagnosed with ms. i just wanted to crawl into bed (shell) and hide. i had turtles tatooed on my wrist even. but about a year and a half ago, it was early fall, i was driving by this same lake and saw an older gentlemen with a gaggle of children behind him confronting a turtle that was nearly the height of his knee on the side of the road. then i saw the same turtle trying to cross north park and i pulled over and got out of my car to try and move him back to the grass, and a jogger approached me and told me not to touch it, it was a snapping turtle. on the way home, the road was littered with bits of shell and turtle flesh. i thought it meant it was time to get a new totem (it was a very powerful image, especially considering i turned away from protecting the animal, as was my first instinct). i have been waiting for a new one to come along, and i've apparently been handed the same protector. Turns out the turtle means much more then a shell to hide in....

Song of the day: soul sacrifice- santana

moving

Packing; a strand of hair
-dark, semetic, curl-
his hair floats down from the shaking
burlap, mexican blanket,
the curtains from behind the bed.
Stop packing. Evaluate.
It is right that he is gone, so why wet cheeks?
It's only remembering.


Song of the day:rubber soul album- beatles

ms walk

the ms walk is this saturday. i have been a team captain now for two years. many people in my life, when they find out i have a walking team every year, ask me to keep them informed because they would like to walk with me.

ofcourse, none of them do, always too busy...and people also never have money to sponser me.... but my friend tonya is walking with me again this year. my friend robin, who is about 31 weeks pregnant, is also walking with me this year, and her friend emily, whom i have never met, but whom i appreciate for her commitment to this walk is also joining us.

the walk starts at nine am behind tower city amphetheater. my team's name is after enlightenment (tonya said 'thank god were not the basket cases again- last year, all team members were mental health students at case- )and anyone who would like to participate is welcome to come....hope for good weather for me please, last year it was snowing and i was a crabby bitch....

Song of the day: I'm gonna be (500 miles)- crash test dummies

we live in a bubble!

the article is actually about how much more energy efficient it would be to live in a black hole, but the whole concept of living in a bubble is just surreal.

Black Holes are Actually Green
Ker Than
Staff Writer
SPACE.com Mon Apr 24, 3:00 PM ET

...Space bubbles

Most of the energy in the jets is being emitted as radio waves, but in at least one of the black holes studied, the energy was in the form of more energetic X-rays.

"The energy in these jets is absolutely huge, about a trillion trillion trillion watts," Allen said.

As they race outwards from their parent black holes at nearly light speed, the jets carve out enormous cavities, or "bubbles," in the surrounding gas environment; some of these bubbles can be tens of thousands of light years across.

Bubbles can also form in the aftermath of stellar explosions called supernovas; our own solar system is enveloped by such a structure, called the "Local Bubble," which was formed during an explosion long ago.

The researchers used these bubbles to figure out the fuel efficiency of the black holes. Using Chandra images, they first calculated how much fuel in the form of gas was available to each black hole. They then estimated the power required to produce the bubbles that were observed.

the boy from the coffee house

when i first posted this, i did what i could remember, but this is the actual final version. spaghetti is a follow up to thjis one....

I kiss you
because I can
because of your permanent
patience,
a strange quality
for a happy hippy child glancing

my way, you say:
'I want to make love to you'.
I blush and look away,
unsure I love you enough.
I run my hand over your face,
stubbly and harsh against
my fingers
exploring a man's skin for the first

time, my head is stuck in Joni
Mitchell, it's the same
as the last woman you cared for.

You hand me a cigarette, laughing
when i reach for it,
when i reach for the lighter strung
through your belt loop you call me
a little gentleman
which is what i am, a lady
killer with my sweetness
and you say: 'I am glad we are intimate
friends on this ride.' I smile,

knowing safety
joins at the lips and you smile back.
You do a little dance with your arm
wrapped around my waist and take a sip of coffee
while I walk alone to my car.

Song of the day: you turn me on, i'm a radio- joni mitchell

spaghetti

I look at you with cold
eyes, enjoying the attention
you pay to the noodles,
your special sauce,
I'm not interested in you.
The green linoleum is covered in coffee
grinds, grainy on my bare feet
and it bothers me.

You made the same meal
last week, the poor man's food.
You had me stop at the market,
pick up Caraway seeds,
which you now add to the meat
in your carefully imprecise manner.
I can already feel them sticking
between my teeth and i wish
i had said I couldn't make it.

I'm always afraid
the meat could be tainted. Mad Cow,
Hoof and Mouth, the cattle might be shipped
all the way from Europe
(I'm soo neurotic).
I watch you scrub
pots and pans, anti-bacterial
soapy between your palms...
maybe it's only your meat I find rotten.

words of the father

....just doing a little history research. i dont much remember what really happened in the first gulf war, i just remember being in middle school music class, and kids talking about how people are dying, but most of us were just spouting what our parents were saying (including me). later on in my life, i befriended a few vets. my friend don fought in the war, his unit refused to take vaccines, none became sick. my friend danial worked in the morgue, and says she suffers certain problems from the gulf war syndrome. i know that we had bombed baghdad steadily in the 12 years between war one and two....

the first gulf war, it never really ended, did it? it was more like taking a nice, long, ambien induced nap...

from: http://www.al-bab.com/arab/docs/pal/pal10.htm
'New world order'
President Bush's speech to Congress
March 6, 1991 (extracts). This speech has often been cited as the US administration’s principal policy statement on the new order in the Middle East following the expulsion of Iraqi forces from Kuwait.

... Tonight I come to this House to speak about the world – the world after war.

The recent challenge could not have been clearer. Saddam Hussein was the villain, Kuwait the victim. To the aid of this small country came nations from North America and Europe, from Asia and South America, from Africa and the Arab world, all united against aggression.

Our uncommon coalition must now work in common purpose to forge a future that should never again be held hostage to the darker side of human nature.

Tonight in Iraq, Saddam walks amidst ruin. His war machine is crushed. His ability to threaten mass destruction is itself destroyed. His people have been lied to, denied the truth. And when his defeated legions come home, all Iraqis will see and feel the havoc he has wrought. And this I promise you: for all that Saddam has done to his own people, to the Kuwaitis, and to the entire world, Saddam and those around him are accountable....Our commitment to peace in the Middle East does not end with the liberation of Kuwait.....

we must work together to create shared security arrangements in the region. Our friends and allies in the Middle East recognise that they will bear the bulk of the responsibility for regional security. But we want them to know that just as we stood with them to repel aggression, so now America stands ready to work with them to secure the peace.

This does not mean stationing US ground forces on the Arabian Peninsula, but it does mean American participation in joint exercises involving both air and ground forces. It means maintaining a capable US naval presence in the region, just as we have for over 40 years. Let it be clear: our vital national interests depend on a stable and secure Gulf....

But we cannot lead a new world abroad if, at home, it’s politics as usual on American defense and diplomacy. It’s time to turn away from the temptation to protect unneeded weapons systems and obsolete bases. It’s time to put an end to micro-management of foreign and security assistance programs, micro-management that humiliates our friends and allies and hamstrings our diplomacy. It’s time to rise above the parochial and the pork barrel, to do what is necessary, what’s right and what will enable this nation to play the leadership role required of us.....

Now, we can see a new world coming into view. A world in which there is the very real prospect of a new world order. In the words of Winston Churchill, a "world order" in which "the principles of justice and fair play ... protect the weak against the strong ..." A world where the United Nations, freed from cold war stalemate, is poised to fulfil the historic vision of its founders. A world in which freedom and respect for human rights find a home among all nations.

The Gulf war put this new world to its first test, and, my fellow Americans, we passed that test.


Song of the day: for what its worth-buffalo springfield

the long absence

too much in my head still, but i am going to do my best to get back to blogging

one thing, i find that i an very easily frustrated right now, and trying to post links is impossible, and when i am feeling political, which i have been, links are absolutely neccesarry....anyone know hjow to post a link on blogger? the type of link that can be cllicked on and takes you to which ever article the post is on?

intentional

very rarely do i think in terms of intention. i know that my intentions are usually the best of intentions, and at work, i am very intentional in my design and intervention, but mostly, i trip through my life with very few plans (less to be disappointed by i guess), and i would even say i have been known to scurry away from intention with fervor (lest i get trapped or tricked into something)...

in this day and age, intention is rare i think. i never had a father waiting to meet my dates (thank you for this image jeff), ready to say "and what are your intentions toward my daughter, young man/lady (that would be a pretty progressive dad, huh?). the closest to intentional relating i've ever gotten is having a condom in my wallet. and intention in friendship, NO WAY! it was always just an instant, non spoken, intense thing (though they tend to fizzle out) or to play it cool, you know, and see where it heads, and then maybe after a year of casual encounter, you begin to talk in terms of longer term friendship, and what you owe each other as you become more familiar ( as my friend tonya and i have done) and certainly, since i am dealing with chronic illness, at some point i become interested in what the limits and bouindaries are-can i depend on a person to still interact with me in times of illness and challenge (make that added effort, coming to me (literally meant) instead of meeting halfway kind of thing), which is a type of intention i guess.

i dont know if it is a generational issue, or just an individual thing, looking for a person's intention toward something, but it is an interesting feeling to have someone ask about your intentions towards them (though the word was never used, i could feel it), as someone did to me last week. at first i was confused, then i thought i had to be misunderstanding, then i remembered that somewhere, sometime, i was introduced to the idea of building intentional relationships. (and yes i know it was you, i just dont remember where and in what context)

i don't think i understood what that meant when i first heard of it, but my sense is getting stronger. maybe having intention creates an honest interaction. maybe it's based on insecurities, but i think it is something i will consider for awhile, and see how it could play out in my life.

....and what are your intentions?

toward the within

so i keep wanting to post but i feel a little stuck.

my intention in starting a blog was never to journal in public, but somewhere along the line, i seem to have taken a swing inward that is taking me deeper then i have gone in a few years. i feel like this is a certain step in my transition from student to professional, and i am not sure that i can see around my own fog enough to talk about anything besides myself.

having to focus on how i can best use my energy, struggling to change the nature of some relationships i have, trying to think what i want to do different with my free time, understanding what is me and what i have used to hide behind...how do you share this stuff? i am not even sure i would want to. anyone else been here before?

Song of the day: remedy-jason something of other

full of love

no longer sick (almost), and full of love.i apologize for my absence.

i want to give all you consistant bloggers kudos for being able to keep with it. i didnt realize how difficult this wouid be sometimes.

my voice will be back tomorrow

still sick

still sick and trying to rest. did some cleaning, found some more poetry, so that is still what you are going to get